The relationship is a link between two people that must be cultivated and worked every day, represents daily coexistence and, as such, is able to be involved in various conflicts and divergences, if the members of the couple do not act with love and mutual respect to resolve these conflicts, it is quite possible that the relationship will eventually wither. Find out below what are the main destructive behaviors in a relationship.
Dr. John Gottman is one of the pioneers in the study of romantic relationships, after studying couples for several years, he can now say that there are certain destructive behaviors or attitudes that are good indicators of failure.
- On the other hand.
- There are also couples who work very well in this way.
- Again.
- This has to do with a number of common ingredients that predict the continuity of the couple over time.
- As well as their well-being.
In any case, the ingredients that should never be lacking in any relationship are respect, affection, trust and communication.
If we are part of a couple in which these ingredients are present, we will probably appreciate the relationship, regardless of the discussions or conflicts that may arise.
If, on the other hand, we find that some or some elements are missing, the couple would have to try to work at this point.
“Love is an activity, not a passive effect. It’s a continuous being, not a sudden game. -Erich Fromm-
As we have already mentioned, there are certain behaviors in relationships that predict their failure.
In this article we will highlight those that we find most relevant and that directly attack the basic pillars of any healthy relationship: respect, affection, trust and communication.
Sometimes couples support this type of destructive behavior for a long time. It makes sense for us to make mistakes in the relationship and it’s healthy to be flexible and tolerant of each other.
We need to understand that making mistakes is human. The problem arises when it comes to something recurring, which defines the relationship. Think about how you’d draw with your partner or partner. Are you fighting?The way you imagine largely projects what is present in your mind about your relationship.
If we are aware, even at least, that our relationship has become toxic, we must weigh the pros and cons and be prepared to let it go.
Most of the time, we have a hard time ending the relationship because there is a widespread fear of loneliness. We think of loneliness catastrophically, not objectively. We think we’ll be alone when, in fact, we’re surrounded by people.
“Why, in general, do we run away from loneliness? Why do very few people find company in themselves. ? -Carlo Dossi-
On the other hand, some thoughts try to trick us into not leaving the relationship. A common thought is “He/she will change”. Another very characteristic thought is “If we’re done, I’m sure you’ll find someone better. “
We must try to ignore these thoughts. In fact, they are the result of our deep fear of abandonment or loneliness and try to “protect us” but have the opposite effect.
The sensible thing to do is to end self-deception, objectively observe all the facts, as if we were spectators of our own relationship, and make a firm decision.
Once this point is over – what’s the most complicated thing?We will have to be prepared to go through the mourning tunnel and arrive renovated to be accepted.