Differences between being and feeling

We live in a time when we are going through a series of changes that lead us to be more alone: an aging population, changes in social relations, an increase in the number of single parents, an increase in the number of people who want to live alone or social demands that involve isolation. However, there are differences between being alone and feeling lonely.

Loneliness does not imply objective social isolation. According to some authors, loneliness has an emotional component, because it is an unpleasant experience, in addition to a cognitive component, through which the person perceives a decrease in social relationships or the fact that they are inadequate.

  • Feeling of loneliness has been found to be better predicted by the level of subjective satisfaction in relationships than by the frequency of contact.

Loneliness can be defined in different ways depending on its cause

Feeling lonely is a very unpleasant feeling that can invade us, even if we are surrounded by people who care about us, this can be a more serious problem. In fact, it may even be a condition that usually doesn’t get enough attention.

Sufferers don’t usually talk about it, they even admit it’s the source of their mood. It is difficult to recognize and accept this feeling of loneliness when you do not want it, because it generates feelings of shame and above all difficulty in overcoming it.

The main complication of feeling alone is that when you experience it, you don’t ask for specialized help, the person does not treat this event as pathological, but as a normal characteristic of life.

As for its consequences, in addition to the emotional consequences, feelings of loneliness have been considered a risk factor of morbidity and mortality, that is, pathologies that can be fatal or really harmful.

Among them, loneliness has been linked to changes in physical health, especially cardiovascular disease, eating or sleep disorders. When it comes to mental health, loneliness is linked to increased depression, substance abuse and even suicide.

Be alone or lonely? If it is very difficult to assume the feeling of loneliness and, more importantly, remedy it, you can try to change your perception of loneliness.

First, you need to identify the source of this feeling: think about what it would take to stop feeling that way. Once you’ve identified the reasons, you need to think about what can be done to correct them. Improve social skills?Find new friends?Do group activities?

One recommendation might be to invest time in helping others through volunteering, for example. This task can increase feelings of usefulness, making us see that our presence is important to someone else. It’s important to keep busy trying to think about other issues and reduce the time spent thinking about loneliness.

Another option is to start activities that take place as a group, sign up for dance classes, painting, reading clubs . . . it’s a way to enjoy life while making new contacts and spending time with new businesses.

In addition, we now have the opportunity to make contacts online. There are many platforms to meet new people based on our personal needs and tastes. In short, look for the option that best suits your needs and tastes, but above all try to fill this void without fear of assuming it.

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