Throughout life, people need to rethorder their values to understand their raison d’een: knowing what matters and what doesn’t matter, acting accordingly, and being able to find meaning.
It doesn’t matter if these values are superficial, difficult to achieve, or involve long-term sacrifices: they are simply the ones that make you happy and good to yourself.
- But then some questions arise: what happens when I haven’t defined my values?So let’s show you some metaphors and experimental exercises that will help you show your values.
- Because discovering your values makes sense in life.
It is an intense and a little harsh reflection exercise, but revealing and beautiful. We invite you to do so when you think you can, paying the utmost attention. We’ll look at the story of a metaphor so you can think about it later. :
“Imagine having an act or mass to remind you when you’re no longer with us. You’ll find people who have been through your life and who have been important.
They’ll have to read what you’ve been for their lives, what you mean to them and to others. You will read aloud: “My sister, my friend, my mother?A person characterized by?” Well, now I want you to think about what he’d like them to say about you, how he’d like to be remembered.
You probably don’t want them to read? My friend, a person who out of fear dared not fight for what he felt ?,?My mother, who didn’t have enough time for me?I don’t think any of us would like to hear that. So think about how you’d like them to describe your time in the world.
If you’d like to be told that you were a great friend, someone who can overcome the difficulties, someone who fought for what he wanted and lived his life according to his convictions, thinks and writes. So you will have the first relevant information, completed and with a lot of difficulty?What matters, what are your values ?.
This metaphor is used in acceptance and commitment therapy and connects us with our innermost self, many people go through serious identity and existential crises and need to put in order what they feel and what they want to walk meaningfully. metaphor that will help you complete the information.
You can even know what values you want to use in your life to make it meaningful and more enjoyable, however, sometimes it’s like it’s impossible to follow them.
Remember the waters and memories of the past, the traumas and disappointments of the past that take up more time and space in your mind than your accomplishments and motivations. Let’s try to clarify something about this so that you can walk lighter, meaningfully, but tolerating and accepting the discomfort that throughout life has:
“Imagine you have a garden. This one is full of beautiful roses that you want to keep. The garden is important to you and to be able to keep these roses and make other flowers bloom would be great. But in the garden, there are also weeds.
Sometimes you spend a lot of time eliminating weeds, but they get stronger and stronger in more places. Because of your insistence on removing weeds, you neglected roses, which made sense for your garden, even withered.
The roses are withered and the weeds are now stronger than ever, before you could barely see them, because there was a time when you devoted yourself to roses and set aside weeds that grow in any garden, because they were too small in the face of the greatness and beauty of the great red roses?
Think about this metaphor and connect it with what’s going on in your life and mind: how much time do you spend eliminating those bad thoughts and feelings and fighting for what you really want in life?
Because bad thoughts are like weeds in your garden, the more you work to eliminate them, the more gifts they will give you, if you ignore them and tolerate the inconvenience they sometimes cause, you will have much more time to dedicate to the important roses in your life: you independence, your autonomy, your travels, your passion, your improvement or your peace of mind.
You have to fight for what only YOU think is important, without comparing yourself to anyone. Your roses, your values, don’t deserve your time to devote it only to weeds.
There is a form of goals, actions and obstacles (Hayes et al, 1999) that can help you organize your strategy to achieve the values you have detected after thinking about metaphors, focusing on what you can do from now on to Catch them.
Identify important areas of your life (family, friends, associations, training, etc. ) and set a valid course for everyone, write down the actions you are willing to take to achieve them and the obstacles (psychological and environmental) that make it difficult to achieve this valuable direction.
If the valuable course is to pass a contest, it establishes concrete long-term actions to be carried out (study, organization of times, agenda, repeals), as well as the obstacles that you think you have and that hinder the path (insecure, instability?).
And don’t forget to ask yourself another question: if you didn’t have problems, what would you do in your life to be happy?You realize that problems are tolerated when something is really worth it. Because “whoever has a why, can bear a how. “