Adolescence is characterized by being a stage of rebellion, the teenager undergoes a series of hormonal changes, in addition to performing an intense search for his own identity, all of which leads him to desire independence and to believe that his parents do not understand it. , in this delicate step, you need to know the best way to negotiate with a teenager.
Negotiating with your child will bring you fewer headaches and help you feel treated like an adult, this will encourage you to respect the agreements you’re proposing, discuss and resolve difficult situations that occur, but above all it will help you feel loved.
- Sometimes teenagers tend to walk away.
- And because we don’t know how to approach them.
- They end up feeling very lonely.
- With parents who don’t understand them and who can’t trust them.
- So negotiation can significantly improve those circumstances.
Every parent knows how important it is to convey values from an early age, good values allow young people to guide their behavior and make the right choices, however, we don’t always know how to do it correctly. adolescent, we can get the following benefits:
Everyone knows that it is necessary to define agreements, limits and certain rules that accelerate and avoid conflict in the context of coexistence. As with our partner, we can have the rule not to enter the house with dirty shoes on the carpets, we must also have them with the children.
You have to agree on when to go home if you are going out with friends or about prohibited activities inside or outside the house (smoking, drinking, calling friends to sleep at home?). For each family, the agreements will be different. It is ideal to negotiate, to see the opinions of the different members and to establish rules that everyone thinks are right.
Negotiating with a teenager is not as easy as it seems, but sometimes this difficulty comes not from children, but from you as a parent, the belief that what you are saying is indisputable, exercises an almost dictatorial authority in your home, regardless of what is your teen’s opinion?All of this can sabotage a negotiation even before it starts.
That’s why you need to treat your teen as someone who matures, grows and learns, is no longer a grandson, is a person with opinions and able to understand many of the mistakes he makes, it is true that he will never be and should not be a symmetrical relationship, but this asymmetry will decrease over the years, in this sense listening to your children can allow you to learn a lot about yourself.
To negotiate with your teen, you need to eliminate some “mistakes. “One of them, for example, is to say, “I’m your father, so do as I say. “This is terrible in an attempt at negotiation:: It imposes a principle of authority that prevents any dialogue. When parents abuse this formula, it is normal for the child to stop expressing what he or she thinks. You can try to hide what you’re doing to your parents, or pretend to be right. for your wishes, but you will hardly want to argue when you know that you have no chance of getting satisfied with the dialogue.
You should also avoid attempts at tampering and inconsistencies. If you combine something, it is not possible to simply change your mind and justify yourself with the argument of “At this stage, will I not change what I have been doing for so many years?Or “I can do what I want and you can’t. ” These situations will increase anger and push your child further away from you.
The consequence of some mistakes when negotiating with your child is that the relationship with your child will be damaged, there will be no harmony or opportunity for growth, in that sense remember that we can all learn from each other. a guide and you shouldn’t impose anything authoritarianly until your child complies even without consent Why not talk about it and negotiate?This will not make you lose respect or make the relationship symmetrical.
We must keep in mind that our children are people with feelings, who in adolescence begin to build their identity and define their values, can think for themselves and have certain opinions on different topics that deserve to be respected. He thinks that if we learn from negotiating wisely, the relationship we have with our children will be much better.