Passive-aggressive behavior is characterized by its dependence and manipulation, its enigmatic art also combines negative attitudes and defeats that annoy others and lead to a deep psychological and emotional discomfort, similarly these characteristics form a type of difficult profile, unfortunately very common and that hinders the dynamics of couples, friendships and family ties.
One thing most of us can do almost instantly is identify any aggressive behavior, we all have, on average, this clinical vision that allows us to alert this person to their attitude, their behavior or their media that trigger some violence, an air of superiority and more or less explicit aggression.
- However.
- Passive-aggression is not always perceived.
- As it is not always so easy to identify certain attitudes.
- Certain reactions that often oscillate between the charismatic or the reactionary.
- Highlighting their hostility camouflaged by ironies.
- Sarcasm and false “good manners”.
- It is a type of personality that confuses.
- Gives rise to misunderstandings.
- Until.
- Little by little.
- We realize the discomfort that this particular person generates.
On the other hand, it can be said that, until a few years ago, passive-aggressive personality was identified as a personality disorder, however, this clinical label disappeared in the fourth edition of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). remain only as a behavioral type, a type of “non-pathological” personality.
In the 1990s this alleged disorder was overdiagnosed and the controversy was so great that it was agreed that it made no sense to pathologize resistance, pessimism or covert aggression, this would only be correct in the case of a person who uses this attitude constantly. reflecting, in turn, a dominant, pessimistic and very disabling attitude.
We can all show passive-aggressive behavior at any time. There are specific triggers that can generate almost without realizing latent hostile behavior, a type of reaction where they show some irritability, a certain moodiness, so it is important to always understand what is behind passive-aggressive behavior.
Now let’s take a closer look at its most common features
Passive-aggressive behavior always masks a hidden and barely disguised anger that is expressed above all through language; the presence of indirects, of those who hurt and of those who surprise their interlocutor is common; it is also very common to use confusing and even contradictory messages. , as well as the following phrases:
They may seem friendly and even affordable, but this appearance instantly diminishes as we get to know them a little more and their true passive-aggressive face appears.
On the other hand, and as a consequence of this hostility, there is also the custom of putting almost everything in the future, they do not fulfill what was promised, everything starts half, they forget and do not care about what they have: without objects or personal relationships .
It is curious to see how his behavioral hostility, his hostile and provocative attitude also relate to his intense emotional dependence on others.
I despise you, but do I need you?is certainly his most characteristic personal motto, a trait that really hides a weak being and wounded by his insecurities, a person who needs others, but who, in turn, lives within the bitter shell of his shell.
Behind passive-aggressive behavior there may be several backdoors, where hidden realities are sometimes very complex: depression, anxiety disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), low self-esteem, poor childhood, and even certain biological or environmental factors.
If you are aware that, in your daily treatment, your attitude triggers passive and aggressive behaviors, it is ideal to find a good therapist that will help you understand and channel your anger, your frustration, for this it is never necessary to take into account these basic strategies:
On the other hand, if in our nearest environment we are forced to deal with a passive-aggressive person, one of the best ways to reduce its impact on us is to ignore it. Passive-aggressive is usually a person with very low self-esteem, esteem and little emotional affirmation, someone who doesn’t know how to act when he feels his behavior has no effect.
The more you are affected by your words and attitudes, the more power you have, but if you realize that you have no value to us, you will stop insisting and your psychological impact on us will be less. However, as we have already done. Point out, it will always be wise to know what’s behind this kind of behavior. If passive-aggressive is a parent, we can encourage you to seek professional help.
Out of curiosity and finally remember the origin of this term and where it was first used. It was during World War II that a group of military psychiatrists noticed certain difficult behaviors, passive resistance, and negative actions to follow in many soldiers. What was behind these soldiers really a post-traumatic stress disorder?
Images courtesy of Christian Schloe.