A person with dependent personality disorder has a constant and excessive need for care, leading to behaviors characterized by submission and attachment, as well as a deep fear of abandonment and consequent anxiety about separation.
How often do we encounter people who can’t separate from their partner, even if they know the relationship is harmful or brings more inconvenience than benefits?How many people can’t make decisions without seeking the advice of their loved ones?Do you know someone who asks for care all the time and even irritates those around them?
- These people may suffer from dependent personality disorders (but not necessarily.
- Of course).
- But what exactly is personality?What is the reference when we talk about personality?Let’s define personality and then dive into dependent personality disorder.
Finding an exact definition of the term personality is not an easy task. It is a complex system of cognitions, emotions and behaviors that guide and direct (give coherence) a person’s life. Like the body, personality is made up of psychophysical structures and systems and reflects nature (genes) and learning (experiences).
In addition, personality encompasses the effects of the past, including past memories and experiences, as well as present and future directions, that is, personality is a set of characteristics or patterns that define a person: feelings, thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. that we witness/manifest and that make us unique.
Now that we know more or less what personality is and how psychology defines it, we can address one of its most common changes or disorders.
As noted above, dependent personality disorder is characterized primarily by a permanent and excessive need for care, leading to submissive behavior, excessive attachment and fear of separation. It begins in the early stages of adulthood and occurs in a variety of contexts (p. E. g. work, family, leisure, etc. ).
Its most important features are
Addiction and submission behaviors are designed with the intention of receiving care, these people are firmly convinced that they cannot do the right thing without the help of others.
People with dependent personality disorder have great difficulty making daily decisions (for example, choosing the color of their pants to go to work, carrying umbrellas or not in case of rain, etc. ), without the advice and approval of others.
These people are often passive and allow others to take the lead and take responsibility for much of their lives, you would think that it only happens with young people, but it also happens with adults.
Adults with dependent personality disorder usually depend on a parent or spouse deciding where to live, what kind of work they should have, and their friends. Adolescents with this type of disorder can allow their parents to even decide how they should dress, who to identify. with, how to use your free time and which career to choose.
This need for care exceeds what would be appropriate for your age, which would be appropriate for your need for help in situations where the intervention of others is necessary.
A severely ill or disabled person may develop a dependent personality disorder, in these cases the difficulty of taking responsibility must overcome what is normally expected of people with this disease or disability.
Because people with dependent personality disorder are afraid of losing the support or approval of others, they find it difficult to disagree with others, especially those around them.
They feel so incapable of acting for themselves that they can agree with things they don’t think are good. They don’t want to risk losing the help of the people they depend on.
They also do not show irritation and concern about the distance from others. If one individual is genuinely concerned about the consequences of their disagreement with the other and their opinion, this behavior should not be considered as evidence of a dependent personality disorder.
People with dependent personality disorders struggle to start new projects or do things independently, lack self-confidence, and believe they need help getting started and doing things.
They will wait for other people’s help to start something because they believe others can do better than them, they are convinced that they cannot act independently.
They are incompetent and need help constantly. However, they are able to do everything right if they are sure that someone is supervising and approving them, they are afraid to look competent, they believe that if they do they will be abandoned, often they do not want to acquire the skills. necessary to live independently, thus perpetuating their dependence.
People with dependent personality disorders can go to great lengths to receive the care and support of others; They may even volunteer for unpleasant tasks if this behavior gives them the help they need.
They are always willing to do what others want, even if the demands are unreasonable, their need to maintain a bond leads to unbalanced or distorted relationships, in this sense they can sacrifice or tolerate verbal, physical or sexual abuse, they feel uncomfortable or helpless when they are alone. The idea that they’ll have to take care of themselves terrifies them.
Are these people influential not to be alone, even if they are not interested or involved in what is happening?
When a relationship ends (for example, the death of the caregiver, a separate partner, etc. ), they can urgently seek another relationship that gives them the care and support they need.
The belief that they cannot take care of themselves if they do not have a close relationship motivates these people to join another quickly and indiscriminately.
People with this disorder fear having to take care of themselves, they are so dependent on the opinion and help of others that they are concerned about the possibility of being abandoned, even if there is no reason to justify such fears.
These fears are often excessive and unrealistic. For example, an elderly man with cancer who moves into his child’s home for treatment has appropriate dependent behaviors because of the problems he or she is experiencing.
People with dependent personality disorder are generally very pessimistic and insecure, tend to minimize their skills and resources, and can call themselves “useless. “They perceive criticism and disapproval as proof of their incompetence and do not believe in themselves, seeking the overprotection and domination of others.
Professional performance can be affected when initiative and autonomy are needed, often avoid positions of responsibility and feel anxious when making decisions, their social relationships are limited to the few people they depend on, there is an increased risk of depressive disorders, anxiety disorders and adaptation disorders.
Dependent personality disorder usually develops with other personality disorders, especially preventive and histrionic disorders, the differences of which we will see later. Chronic disease, separation anxiety disorder in childhood or adolescence predisposes the individual to develop this disorder.
Women are more likely to seek specialized treatment for this disorder, although some studies indicate that it occurs in the same proportion between men and women.
On the other hand, several factors can contribute to its development
Although many personality disorders have dependent characteristics, dependent personality disorder can be identified when these individuals behave submissively, reactively and excessively attached.
Dependent personality disorder and border-limit personality disorder are characterized by fear of abandonment; however, the person with a border-limiting personality disorder reacts to abandonment (or anticipation) with a sense of emotional emptiness, anger, and demand. increasing their resignation and submission, anxiously and urgently seeking a relationship that replaces care and support.
Border-limiting personality disorder is characterized by a typical pattern of intense and unstable interpersonal relationships. People with histrionic personality disorder, such as dependents, have a great need for safety and approval and may look childish and attached. characterized by humble and docile behavior, people with histrionic personality disorder require constant attention and are very dramatic.
Dependent and avoidable personality disorders have feelings of disability, hypersensitivity to criticism, and a need for safety; however, people with avoidable personality disorder are very afraid of humiliation and rejection, they stay away until they are sure they will be accepted.
However, people with dependent personality disorders implement a research model and maintain important relationships with others, rather than avoiding and moving away from others.
As we said at the beginning, I’m sure you know someone with these characteristics, but that doesn’t mean they suffer from a dependent personality disorder, in fact, many people have dependent personality traits, it’s only when these traits are inflexible, persistent and lead to significant functional impairment or subjective discomfort that constitute a dependent personality disorder.