Sexuality is one of those topics on which all kinds of hypotheses and reflections are created, on which all areas of knowledge speak.
Some want to understand it from the enigmatic world of neurotransmitters, others try to decipher it from the complex networks of culture, or simplify it with instinct determinations.
- The thing is.
- No one has the final say on the subject of sexuality.
- There are as many ways to appreciate or appreciate sexuality as human beings who inhabit the planet.
One of the main focuses of discussion is the relationship between love and sex, and vice versa, to what extent can there be love in a couple without sex? To what extent can you have a sexual relationship without involving love?
They call it “platonic love,” “courteous love,” or sometimes false love. The question is: can there be true love between a couple without sexual encounter?
To answer this question, we must first point to a fact that is sometimes overlooked: sexuality is not the same as genitality.
This statement may seem difficult to understand, especially for “more masculine” men or women. They don’t understand a sexuality that goes beyond the genitals.
On the contrary, most women and most men know that sexuality is a space that houses a whole constellation of sensory experiences.
A kiss or a hug is an expression of sexuality, not just a “preliminary. “Hands, voice, caresses, are forms of sexual rapprochement as a couple.
But going back to the center point: can there be love without sex?The direct answer is YES. As for sexuality, there are no rigid and immutable norms, on the contrary, no rule should be considered absolute.
Research by Professor Anthony Bogaert of the University of Ottawa, Canada, found that some couples, after several years together, still felt in love, but had no sex.
They don’t want to leave their partner because the relationship is stable and rewarding, but at the same time they no longer feel sexual attraction.
On the other hand, the psychoanalyst Oscar Menassa points out that love and desire rarely coincide, adding that if this happens, most of the time it is not a long-term experience either, and finally says that many people who will see him define themselves as “asexual”.
“Loveless sex is an empty experience, but what part of the empty experience is one of the best?Woody Allen?
In today’s world, sex without love has almost become a dogma. Attaching the idea of love to the first sexual encounter is supposed to be, in fact, ridiculous for most people. The idea prevails that sex is a pleasure and that love is a commitment, and therefore problems.
Do couples make it clear that a sexual encounter means nothing?In emotional terms. So there’s no confusion. What if one of you complains about “something else” or feels “something” after a seemingly brief sexual encounter, is seen with suspicion.
It is assumed that sexual encounter is like a “quality test”. If it works, it can give way to a slightly longer relationship. Otherwise, “Good luck. “
So, can there be sex without love? Here we have to go back to the definition of sexuality, if sex is understood as a genital skill the answer is YES, but if on the contrary the concept is broader, the answer should be NO.
At this point, do we also need to clarify that word?It can define many different realities, the extent of this feeling depends on the characteristics of those who feel it.
Some do it like cold water and just let their fingertips get wet. Others dive, freeze or not.
From a mental health point of view, sex with love is evidently much more rewarding and restorative, but this does not mean that loveless sex is a negative experience, on the contrary: in certain circumstances, it is a perfectly legitimate way of clinging to life.
In any case, everyone has to find their own way of enjoying sexuality, the normal is just a statistic. Everyone knows whether the way he lives his sexuality suits him or not, and that’s what we need to learn to respect.
Image courtesy of Juan Felipe Rubio.