If you know the world of Harry Potter, you know who the character who inspired the Dobby effect is. Dobby is a domestic elf who usually self-harms when he doesn’t meet the expectations of his teachers (or thinks he doesn’t). ).
Even if it sounds like a comic scene, it horrifies those around you. After all, who would want to get hurt?However, this is a reality experienced by many people, so in one way or another it became popular as a Dobby effect.
- The Dobby effect is intimately related to the way the friendly elf treats itself.
- Feeling guilty about doing something that goes against our values or that’s what we call.
- Is.
- To some extent.
- Normal.
The problem arises when we are constantly punishing each other because we feel guilty about everything. There’s a much bigger problem here, we take too much responsibility.
In the society in which we live there are different reasons why we can feel guilty without a real reason to do so, often the blame comes because we do not meet the expectations of others or what society expects of us.
Let’s look at some examples that will help us better understand this
There are many other scenarios in which a person can identify with the Dobby effect. A woman suffering from postpartum depression feeds her sense of guilt. The abused person does the same to justify the damage he is suffering.
It’s a form of indirect self-harm. It’s not herself who’s getting hurt, but she’s allowing someone else to do it for her.
“I have a big guilt complex when it comes to promoting my work, so much so that every time I was going to open an exhibition, I had some kind of attack, so at some point, I decided not to try again?. – Louise Bourgeois
It doesn’t have to be harmful. However, it becomes so when it becomes a cause of punishment with no other purpose than to feel suffering.
Guilt becomes perverse when it puts an end to our assertiveness, allowing third parties to hurt us, that’s exactly what happened to Dobby.
Sometimes that responsibility on our backs comes to our childhood, maybe our parents have left us all their frustrations, maybe they’ve told us many times that we don’t deserve this or that.
All this was left in our minds and, growing up, we learned to anticipate this?Or did you miss it?. We’re in charge of punishing ourselves.
Despite all this, it is possible to get out of this Dobby effect, the best way is to do a job that allows us to improve our self-esteem.
When we are able to improve our design ourselves, we will begin to be more flexible with our mistakes and, above all, stop extending our responsibility beyond where it ends.
So, if you feel trapped in a cave and the fault is echo, if you feel identified with the Dobby effect, feel free to call a professional.
Your internal dialogue and the way you treat yourself will improve and help protect you from dangerous phenomena such as emotional dependence on people willing to satisfy your interests by taking advantage of the most vulnerable side of others.