Children’s attachment style is a variable that plays a crucial role in establishing healthy and balanced romantic relationships in adulthood. More and more couples therapists see childhood attachment style as a determining factor in the type of emotional bond that will develop to maturity.
John Bowlby, in his theory of attachment, defines attachment as the emotional bonds we create with the people around us throughout life; We first raised them with our parents as children; later, with other characters, such as brothers, family, friends and the emotional bond we create with our parents has a direct impact on our sense of security.
- The degree of safety and trust we feel from our parents determines our style of attachment in childhood.
- At the same time.
- This same style of attachment can influence the type of romantic relationship we establish as adults.
Here’s a brief explanation of the types of attachment and how they influence romantic relationships.
“A secure attachment provides the right context to know many aspects of life and, among them, there is the regulation of emotions. ” – Rafael Guerrero-
Safety and trust are the foundation of a safe attachment style in childhood and it is our parents who inspire these feelings.
In the style of safe attachment, parents understand and respond to their children’s emotional needs, this dynamic makes children feel loved and protected, it is a safe environment where they can express their emotions, because there is a climate of trust in which they can be themselves without fear of rejection.
If attachment figures promote these two fundamental characteristics (safety and trust), they will create a safe child who trusts others. Your child will also have the ability to regulate his emotions and develop good social skills. Rafael Guerrero, psychologist, doctor of education and director of psychologist services at Darwin, explains:
“People who have acquired a safe bond of children are likely to have healthier and more balanced romantic relationships. “
They are more likely to trust their partner, thus avoiding addiction problems. In addition, it will be easier to better communicate and identify each other’s needs and therefore valuable opportunities for help.
Children with this style of attachment suffered rejection from their parents and their needs were not sufficiently met.
Because their parents were unavailable, their relationship with them was marked by emotional estlosion due to unavailability, they were not there to support and help them when they needed it.
Relationships with a avoidable attachment style are often distant, because the person never really trusts the other person, they avoid emotional contact through anxiety and fear of their partner and themselves, and they also find it difficult to ask for or accept the help of others. .
In ambivalent attachment, children had very unstable parents, rejected their children several times without any coherence in their motivations.
This insecurity means that children with this style of attachment in childhood do not want to explore the world, as they do not know if their demands will be met if they ask for help.
People with this type of attachment are very likely to develop emotional dependence and learn to live relationships with fear and insecurity, generally have a negative self-image, low self-esteem and a low sense of control over what happens to them.
They are afraid of abandonment and require a lot of attention. They need others to constantly show their love.
In conclusion, what is raised in this article seems to clarify the relationship between attachment and relationships, so the relationship we establish with our first reference figures in childhood seems to influence the type of partner we choose, the relationship we establish with it and, finally, the quality of the relationships we have with the people closest to us.