There is a phrase by Peter Drucker that is truly unique and conflicts with today’s new forms of communication: “The most important thing in communication is to listen to what is not said. “But how do you know what you don’t say if you don’t see your interlocutor?How do you know if you’re leaving a silence of communication or silence because you’re busy with another activity that at the time caught your attention and interrupted your speech?
That is, as Drucker says, in a conversation there are many gestures, movements and facial expressions that do not speak but speak volumes, however, with the new forms of communication that we have today, such as instant messaging or email. , these details are lost. Does this affect the quality of our interpersonal relationships?
“The way we communicate with others and ourselves determines the quality of our lives. -Anthony Robbins-
There are certainly new forms of communication that are changing the way we see the world, what used to be a simple conversation between people or, at most, a phone call, it can now be a WhatsApp group, a Facebook comment or a 140 character. Twitter Comment This is just to highlight some of the best-known examples.
As a result, new technologies and their contributions are changing communications at a huge rate, eye contact seems increasingly outdated, but while these changes bring excellent benefits, such as faster and more convenient communication, they also have their drawbacks. A WhatsApp conversation as effective as a face-to-face conversation?
According to David R. Olson, a renowned cognitive psychologist, a number of factors need to be taken into account; to be understood, it must be added that communication is based on three acts: speaking, ilocutory and perlocutory.
The act refers to the production of sounds, words and the meaning of a sentence, the ilocutory act relates to strength and the perlocutory act deals with the effects produced by prayer, these effects can be understood, for example, as breathing, irritation, deception or printing.
Let’s look at an example
He said, “Give it to him. ” ? Rental writing.
He advised me to give it to him. ? Illocutory act.
He convinced me to give it to him. ? Perlocutory act
The act of speaking is simply the act of saying something, while the ilocutive act can presuppoon different uses of the same sentence, depending on how it is understood when pronounced (for example, depending on the context, say?Am I cold, so that the caller closes the window, lends the coat or is it simply information about my physical condition, etc. ).
Knowing this, what changes has this researcher observed?
According to Olson, since speech cannot be accurately transcribed, the ilocutive act is lost, that is, only speech and perlocutory are preserved.
Thus, relevant aspects of communication, such as the tone of the voice and its oscillations, are completely lost. It is true that exclamation marks or capital letters can be used to raise the voice, but it is not possible to interpret the emphasis and intonation. Relevant data that may indicate nervousness, anger, dissatisfaction?
This lack of rental aspects of the conversation can not only cause frustration or insecurity in the recipient of the messages, but can also cause frustration in the person sending them, who may feel that something is missing for the other person to understand.
Another peculiarity of these new forms of communication can be found when talking to an unknown person, that is, we cannot interpret what our interlocutor is like, since he is not in front of us, in this sense it will be more complicated to understand. have an idea who you’re talking to.
Therefore, it cannot be said whether this aspect is more or less negative, it is simply different. However, the truth is that closeness is lost and the ilocutive act disappears completely, in fact, it could even give an idea of the person’s true intentions on the other side of communication.
Thus, it is obvious that virtual communication is not necessarily worse than conventional communication, it is simply different and also positive for different purposes, in addition, today we already have technology that allows us to make video calls so that both parties can see us as we speak.
In addition, when two people communicate via WhatsApp, for example, or another means of instant messaging, there is another variable, they already know each other well. Some ilocutive acts may remain in part and, as a result, may perform more correct interpretations upon receiving the message.
“The character of a man can be discovered through the adjectives he usually used in his conversations. -Mark Twain-
In reality, new forms of communication simply bring new ways of talking to people. Does this tend to affect the quality of our communication?The truth is that technology facilitates conversations with certain people that we might not otherwise be able to maintain, but this will always undermine the qualities of these conversations in many ways.
Finally, some studies show that the growing sense of loneliness that exists in today’s society in some parts occurs because we increase the frequency of use of certain media to the detriment of others, we may have people on the other side of the screen, but it is harder to feel close. Maybe with a video call, we can look each other in the eye, but we can never kiss or touch each other.
So use technology to communicate with those far away, but set them aside to talk to those around you. Explore its benefits, but don’t let its drawbacks be fully included in your relationships.