We have heard so much this famous phrase that it says that we should give without expecting anything in return that we believe in it without blinking, without thinking twice, but I ask you: don’t you think that in your affective relationships you deserve to receive at least a small part of what you give?What we’re saying is not that we should expect something in return all the time, but that we shouldn’t always move mountains for someone who wouldn’t move a small stone for us at any time.
We deserve reciprocity, we deserve a balance between the act of giving and the act of receiving in relations with others, we do not always have to occupy the same place, the place of the one who gives everything, this position must alternate: if you leave for a friend today, it is normal that in another situation your friend will do the same for you.
- Out of friendship.
- By love or simply because relationships are healthy.
- We need people in our lives who do everything they can to support us in their lives: sometimes the mountain does not need to be displaced by someone.
- It is enough that they take consideration.
- For us and what they do to us.
Walter Riso is a writer who, in his books, addresses this issue in part and tries to teach that love does not need to be unconditional to be true and that sometimes it is a mistake that we can have for several reasons. In fact, we have all been embarrassed by the passivity of others towards us when, on the other hand, we are very active and present.
Therefore, any relationship in which an emotional bond is established requires a regulation of the interests and attachment that comes from both sides, since this prevents one of the parties from falling into emotional dependence.
In other words, it is wrong to feel that another person does not move and does not move a finger for us and yet we surrender to him unconditionally: here is an imbalance that is likely to cause a disturbance. More than the other one’s been giving for a long time?We are always willing to give it the importance we regain. If we move mountains, sky and air unconditionally, these actions can become an enemy.
“That romantic relationships do not expect anything in return is an invention of the submissive: if you give, you expect to receive. Is reciprocity normal? -Walter laughs-
We have the courage to open up and give our hearts to the people we love, which completely exposes us never to find the same thing again, but that’s exactly what can happen and we end up losing our hearts and all our will in this attempt.
Have they taught you the experiences that when we do everything blindly for others, others love us more?Quite the opposite. Often, the effect is completely opposite: divert your way through someone, even if you do everything voluntarily, move mountains, pass each other’s priorities before your life’s priorities. Will they get what from each other? A lot of times you’ll just be tired and escape.
It is a counterproductive effect because if you put all your energies in a relationship, and so you also put all your expectations, you have nothing: this relationship is not true because interest is something very noticeable, and if you do not notice the interest coming from the other, only from you, it is that there is no interest.
Thus we conclude that everyone ends up getting tired of an emotional relationship that is not reciprocal, based on unequal behaviors, reciprocity is fundamental because if it feels like a lack only one person is missing, but if it sounds like a lack of gift, then both win.
At a time when there is no balance between the acts of giving and receiving, especially on an emotional level, there is a deficiency that can end the bonds that bind several people together. The power of reciprocity lies in the desire and feeling desired in the maintenance of ties.
“What I love about mutual and selfless help between two people is the uncertainty of not knowing who was lucky enough to know who. -Anonymous-
A simple smile, a gesture of gratitude, a simple embrace, are already signs of a will to create or strengthen a bond, because if you show it all the time, you can’t expect it unless you do things for others, but never put aside what you get: moving mountains doesn’t make sense if no one wants to help you do it.