At first they looked super pretty. They tend to be very sociable, conversational and have an attractive personality, however, over time, you start to feel that this person is a bit boring: he talks a lot and almost always about himself, he repeatedly tells the same stories. He’s someone who feels entitled to talk about any subject, even if he doesn’t know it, and no one can curb his egocentrism.
After talking to that person, you feel like you’ve wasted your time. In fact, there was no conversation; you were a replacement in a long monologue, so it’s likely that if you meet this person again, you’ll make up an excuse not to lead to any conversation.
- A person who speaks a lot of herself has not established a clear boundary between himself and his environment.
- His narcissistic personality prevents him from assuming that she is not the center of the universe.
- In his egocentrism it seems normal that all conversations revolve around him or her.
In fact, it doesn’t occur to me that your speech can annoy others and if someone dares to tell you directly, they will defend themselves by saying that the problem is in the other person and not in himself.
This excessive need to pay attention to them is, in fact, the result of their unconscious insecurity. They are satisfied if they get others to listen to them all the time; they see it as proof of their own worth. They may not be in tune with the desires of others, but they always revolve around their own needs.
Anyone who speaks non-stop obviously has a great need to be heard, even if you don’t say anything. Talking to others distracts you from the inner dialogue that each of us maintains with ourselves, this person does not want to be heard, but wants to be heard, does not want to value his ideas or his words, but avoid an inner encounter. Look through the others.
There are those who always speak for themselves to make an inventory of suffering, do not ask for help or accept their advice. They think you have to act with consideration for them, others do the opposite: they present a sequence of stories to show how wonderful they are, they talk about their thousand daily exploits, always expecting some kind of joy from you.
Some people talk about their problems asking for advice, it’s like you’re a private therapist and it’s free, they’re people who will never ask you how you are or if you’re having difficulties too, they assume that their problems are more serious and that it’s their duty to listen to them and advise them.
In any of these situations, there is no real conversation. It is a mechanism of manipulation through the word. You enter a strange game with him, in which sometimes you can feel determined to stay there. Please listen to him, choose him or sympathize. But his connection to this person is not genuine, he still operates under the shadow of that feeling of “something bad. “
It is good that at some point you express directly and with love how positive the conversation is when you give the opportunity to speak and listen, it is also good to invite you to talk about new topics.
If it is not impossible to deal with these types of people, you need to learn to impose limits on egocentrism, if you feel that it affects you, makes you uncomfortable, releases feelings of guilt or emptiness, perhaps it is better to go out.
Image courtesy of Lst1984.