You may already be used to hearing about the emotional manipulation, the behavior of the manipulator and the victims he leaves in his path, this is undoubtedly one of the behaviors that generates the most harmful effects on the victim, mainly because of his silent and lethal character.
The emotional manipulator has a perfectly defined action plan in his head, he knows his victim’s weaknesses and how to remove his defenses to impose himself, acts as if he were the victim and the other is to blame: he convinces the other person to give him a reason and do what he wants.
- They manage to generate certain emotions in each other.
- Depending on what interests them.
- The plan.
- As we said above.
- Is already outlined.
- Do not hesitate and use all possible means to manipulate the will of the other.
- Using it as a tool for their purposes.
Manipulators use what’s called “cognitive dissonance” in psychology. Cognitive dissonance refers to the internal conflict we experience when we have two conflicting or incompatible ideas in our minds, or when a thought does not correspond to our belief system or behavior.
This internal conflict, this tension that corrodes thought, ends up generating a very curious result, it is a mistake to avoid this feeling of cognitive uprooting where one inadvertently enters, that feeling of internal inconsistency stuns us to the point where we will do our thing. better to eliminate it.
Do we need to feel an internal coherence between how we feel and what we think, between our beliefs and our attitudes? between what we think and how we act. When we find ourselves at this crossroads, we will leave it at all costs, even if it is taken in the hands of self-deception.
We will do everything we can not stand for long this feeling of internal inconsistency. We will avoid becoming aware of all the information that increases this dissonance and?Close your eyes to anything that might further destabilize us.
The emotional manipulator knows how to act in the face of cognitive dissonance, making a mistake to achieve his goal. For example, there are people who are unable to end a relationship; Then they will do everything in their power to reverse the situation and for the other to end that relationship.
Jorge wants to leave Maria because he just met another girl he felt one for?Connection? Maria, on the other hand, who doesn’t know anything about this, doesn’t want to finish the court because she’s so in love with him. Faced with this situation, Jorge will do his best to get Maria to end this relationship at once and for all. Later, she will feel solely responsible for the end. Jorge will say, “Oh, no, you’re the one who left me, I never said that!?
Faced with the discomfort generated by the confrontation between what he would like to be, someone faithful, and what is being done at the time, Jorge chooses to emotionally manipulate Mary so that she can resolve the situation, to be the culprit of the breakup. Mary probably doesn’t understand what’s really going on, because few people can conceive of having a partner who understands it. On the other hand, Jorge’s behavior may not be conscious.
In this case, Jorge does not see himself ending a relationship, much less than the reason is that another girl appeared in his life, in his mind does not want the role of villain in the relationship, and to protect himself, he plays the victim; not to accept this reality, so as not to assume her responsibility, manipulates Mary until the rope is permanently broken, no long as she suffers.
If Mary is the person who left him, then he does not need to feel guilty for wanting to leave her for someone else, why is it wrong? and can tarnish her reputation, but in this way resolves the internal conflict. and he’s leaving this battle.
For all these reasons, emotional manipulation is often the result of cognitive chaos that the person is trying to get rid of anyway, will look for an executor, a culprit who makes them victims or puts them in a situation that justifies their thoughts or behaviors. .
The other one’s always to blame. They will always be the unfortunate victims of their relationships overcome by emotional manipulation.