Interpersonal relationships change over time. Our grandparents still saw marriages arranged for convenience and without love; Our parents have seen relationships without love, because divorce is contaminated by someone’s story. Fortunately, society has evolved. Today, we choose much more freely who we want to be with and for how long, but it is also up to us to take emotional responsibility and take care of the feelings of others.
The new era of technology and information speed, in addition to the established consumerist model, has changed the way we report irretrievably, today it is much easier to communicate (which is beneficial and detrimental to relationships, depending on the point of view). But that’s not why we’re closer, more connected as human beings. Bauman, a newly deceased renowned sociologist, has warned us well of the liquidity of our society and, therefore, of our relationships. Nothing is to last, everything. It is treated as a consumer good, disposable, redeemed for another relationship with better “updates”. Everything is too fast and fragile to look even in the medium term.
- I did not come here to lecture those who are already behind in terms of generation (I still lived a moment under the aegis of an analogue society).
- As one who babbles over the innovations and modernities of the younger ones.
- I leave only one alert.
- One reflection.
- To see a society that is getting sicker and in need of affection and connection.
After some time in therapy (which, by the way, I highly recommend), I realized how much and indisputably everyone has a responsibility for themselves. I always wanted to anticipate the suffering of others, avoid it, as if I were their guardian, even if it made me suffer. Today I know that my behavior was many times exaggerated, excessive zeal, because I treated the other as a being without conditions to self-determine, defend and position. But at the same time, I feel that many people are living on the other side of the pendulum: that of total emotional irresponsibility towards others. An old maxim teaches us that we only know with certainty what we say, never what the other was listening to. Yes, indeed, it is tiring, innocuous and even naive to think that we can always anticipate and avoid suffering or any misinterpretation of the other with whom we relate, anticipating all the repercussions of our actions and words. It is a fight in vain. We need to act on our inner truth and resolve any misunderstandings (that still occur) along the way. But there are those who are not even clearly aware of what is going on inside them, and thus they spill into the world a series of inconsequential actions, behaviors and words that reflect this mess, placing others in the middle. of a confusion that is only theirs, they wreak havoc without measuring its repercussions (not to mention who, maliciously, leads life to deceive, deceive and others, which is not even discussed here).
I believe that we should all have a minimum of emotional responsibility with whom we relate, it is the minimum of respect, empathy and consideration that we must demonstrate in our closest relationships (micro) if we want to dream of a better world in terms of coexistence and solidarity (macro). It is recommended to know (and solve) as many of our internal problems as possible before putting others into our emotional disorder. And when we don’t know exactly what’s wrong with us, let’s be careful not to mix people up in our confusion without at least alerting them to the giant chaos taking place.
No one has an obligation to have everything super clear and defined internally, or to want the same as everyone else (have a serious relationship, for example, just because the other wants it). But do we have an ethical duty to put the cards on the table so that whoever is with us knows at least what game?it is played, to decide, with the information available and clear, whether to continue or not (when the autonomy of the other begins).
These days, I not only ask someone to love me, to love me, I ask people to always keep in mind the importance of a minimum of emotional responsibility towards others, in an essential (and so rare) manifestation of empathy.