Emotional wounds extend almost incessantly into family ties, are like a camouflaged shadow in words, educational model, silences, looks and voids, until someone mature and conscious stops the process to say enough and moves away from this web. .
All of us, at some point in our lives, have already thrown a stone to the surface of a lake or river; Immediately, when it falls and sinks, a disturbance is generated, the water particles vary from their initial position and the so-called wave. the foreheads are drawn to the surface.
Everyone has their own story, everyone knows how much their wounds hurt, their voids, their broken corners?
If the impact was very strong many waves will be generated, they are like the echo of a drowned cry, like the metaphor of an emotional wound, the same one that hits a relative and then prints on the rest of the generations with more or less intensity.
It was Oscar Wilde who once said that few spheres were more mysterious and airtight than families, locked in the isolation of their own homes, hardly anyone knowing what is going on between these four walls where one or two generations of people share a common space. and the same codes.
The wounds of some hit each other like invisible waves, like wires that move puppets and like waves full of rage that corrode the rocks of the beaches, so let’s talk about something complex, painful and sometimes heartbreaking.
When we talk about the origin of these emotional wounds that are transmitted through family ties, it is common to think of events such as sexual abuse, physical violence or the traumatic loss of a loved one, so we cannot ignore the conflicts of war and the impact that, for example, all refugee children that society neglects will have on the borders of our borders.
However, beyond these dimensions already well known to all, the “Lacerations” – emotional problems caused by other dynamics, by other processes can be much more common than those mentioned above.
“Emotional wounds are the price we all have to pay to be independent. -Haruki Murakami-
Conrad Hal Waddington was a developmental biologist, geneticist and embryologist who proposed a term as interesting as it is striking: we are talking about epigenetics, the science responsible for studying all the chemical processes that modify DNA without changing its sequence, and where trauma is certainly of great importance.
In this way, all these epigenetic changes will also be reflected in the new generations, to the point that the occasional trauma in a person affects up to 4 generations later.
We have heard that pain is part of life, that suffering teaches us, and that we must forgive to move forward, in fact, all these ideas have important nuances that need to be detailed and even reinterpreted.
Let’s look at some aspects in detail
You don’t have to suffer to learn; In fact, true learning is given to us by true happiness, it is she who lays the foundation for proper emotional balance, and also puts us in touch with what really makes sense to us. For.
Don’t let your wounds turn you into something you’re NOT.
On the other hand, forgiveness is an option, but never an obligation, the most important reconciliation we will have to achieve is with ourselves, an emotional wound makes us something we do not like: someone who suffers, who considers himself fragile, unconditional, full of anger and resentment and who is always a prisoner of those who have hurt him. Should we learn to heal, reconcile with our wounded being to strengthen, heal, and heal it?
Last but not least, there is a need for appropriate strategies and protocols to detect children’s emotional wounds early. Schools should provide practical mechanisms to detect as soon as possible these hermetisms or difficult behaviors that often hide problematic or dysfunctional family dynamics.
We must not forget that even if none of us can choose our parents or the family in which we were born, we all have the right to be happy, to lead a dignified life with an adequate psychological and emotional balance. fight for it.
Images courtesy of Balbusso Anna and Elena.