This usually happens. There are people who dare to end a relationship not because they want it to end, but because they expect that attitude to make the other person react, what they hope is that the person, faced with an imminent loss, will finally decide to meet their emotional needs. , which have been ignored so far. It is an extreme resource that can work immediately, but at the same time can generate significant long-term costs.
Emotional manipulation and blackmail are not the best way to address problems in a relationship. On the contrary: they end up being terrible alternatives, because ultimately they do not solve the conflict, but end up covering it up, postponing it and, in most cases, aggravating it.
- “Isolation.
- Control.
- Uncertainty.
- Repetition of messages and emotional manipulation are techniques used for brainwashing.
- “Eduardo Punset.
False ultimatums and endings are a limited-efficiency resource, well, with these resources you can get your partner (wrongly) committed to change in certain areas, but only so you can reconsider your decision. Over time, you start walking in a logic of conditioning and control that can return at any time.
The last intention of breaking up with the partner to react is to put the person under your control. In that sense, it is manipulative behavior and emotional blackmail with all talk. You put the other person against the wall, and you don’t have any real choices to choose from. In this way, he crouchs down and accepts that he is under the control of the other person.
It is a poor resource and the worst thing is that it is only used when the person is aware that the other person feels affection, as he knows he is loved, leads the other person to an extreme situation so that he reacts exactly like her. desires: to put yourself under your control, that is, puts your needs first and leaves the other without the capacity for reaction.
The threat of losing the person acts as bait, if the victim bites the bait, what happens next is a form of relationship in which manipulation has succeeded, subsequently, even if the person did not want to, a logic is established in the It is valid to “play with the other”. It is no longer spontaneity, but calculation, that determines the next step. It is no longer sincerity, but the tactic that defines the bond that unites the couple.
At worst, what happens is a calculation error, you end up with someone who reacts by arguing that it doesn’t happen and committing to do what you ask them to do, but sometimes things don’t go the way you want and the opposite happens. : the other person reaffirms its value and decides to end the relationship so as not to be manipulated, then the dangerous game can come out of the butt and you will have to retract, in the end you are the one who ends up losing.
What many people who use such tactics forget is that with them they take not only the value of the other, but also of themselves, soon others will learn that what you say, or what you do, has relative value. it’s not the expression of what you really think or feel, but it can just be the manifestation of some kind of continuous psychological play. Therefore, the price of these manipulations and blackmail is that of not being able to have a real relationship of trust and intimacy. .
Sometimes a relationship also ends prematurely or for no real reason, one ends up for the other to react and the other, who does not want to be manipulated, accepts this imposed purpose so as not to lose its autonomy. Neither of us benefits.
Declaring the end of a relationship under a logic of power is not a good idea. While some benefits can be obtained, the loss is much greater. Does this cause the relationship to lose its value, to become “cheap”?And this, imperceptibly, ceases to be a bond that enriches your life.
Thus, union becomes an element that generates anguish and pain, something that remains and does not add up. When such manipulations and blackmail exist, sooner or later the roles will be reversed and a chain of episodes will be opened in which both behave. more like rivals or enemies than as a couple.
Conflicts in a relationship hurt and frighten, especially when serious, but the only way to resolve them is to look them in the face and find a healthy way to address them. Communication is always a great option. Having a conversation with all the sincerity of the heart always allows us to understand.
Otherwise, it is certainly because, in fact, it is a relationship that has no chance of developing, so it is worth finishing it to improve their lives.