We all experienced situations that caused us so much discomfort that all we wanted was to escape, we will explain in this article why this avoidance behavior, which at first glance may seem like the best defense mechanism, is harmful to us, especially in the long run. Run.
In addition, not only will we talk about the damage that this approach brings us in difficult situations, but we will also see what behaviors are recommended to replace this avoidance, some avoidance behaviors only aim to avoid the possibility of exposure to such an unpleasant or even painful perceived situation.
- “I learned that you can’t go back.
- That the essence of life is to move on.
- Is life really a one-way street?”-Agatha Christie-.
In situations that we perceive as a threat, each person has a series of coping strategies to deal with them, these strategies are configured and installed in us over a lifetime, if they are useful under certain conditions, we will increase the frequency of use and even adapt it to new problems for which, in principle, this strategy does not seem the most appropriate. On the other hand, if they are ineffective, we will take them out of our repertoire.
On this basis, there are different types of strategies that can be implemented, one of them would be avoidance, and in avoidance we can distinguish two situations: early avoidance and escape; in the first case, we imagine an unpleasant situation and in the second case, we immerse ourselves in an unpleasant situation and concentrate all our energies to try to escape.
Whenever possible, avoidance behaviors have the power to restore calm, in the short term they have this reinforcement, which in many cases is very powerful: immediate relief from these unpleasant sensations, in this way people will continue to use this strategy whenever an unpleasant situation occurs; They will increasingly avoid problematic situations in the different areas in which they are located, making their lives increasingly conditioned by fear.
This way of managing situations is considered to treat other emotional disorders, modifying this behavior will promote a rapid recovery of psychological well-being.
If we abuse evasion, we’ll actually get hurt. So what can we do? No, because there are other ways to deal with the situation that don’t limit our lives.
In 1986, Folkman and his collaborators classified the different types of confrontation:
“Consider adversity as an exercise. ” -Seneca-
We understand that evasion is not a good strategy, but there are other strategies that are also not appropriate, such as hostile and aggressive confrontation.
However, a distance that allows us to reflect, re-evaluate the situation in a positive way, plan the actions, the changes we will make and the search for social support (without become dependent on others for everything), can be very beneficial. Of course, we cannot always act quickly; we have to take one step at a time.
As you can see, it is necessary to make good use of the different strategies available, so avoiding certain situations can be a good strategy, but we cannot spend our lives jumping puddles if it rains frequently. In fact, if we insist on it, strategy we will end up swaying in the same place, praying that the water does not flood the small space that we occupy without having learned anything along the way.
On the other hand, if we focus on developing ways to deal with ways we don’t avoid challenges, we’ll develop the sense of self-reliance that arises when we do the right things, so our self-esteem will also benefit.