There is an exaggerated romanticism that has been present among us for years and seems like an undisputed idea. It can even make our relationships unsatisfactory and our happiness seems to fade more and more. Their mechanism of action is the belief in what love should look like and what perfect relationships are like.
An example of this is the belief that a healthy love should be based on a pure feeling, on the idea of getting carried away by the heart and intensity of the other’s feeling, however, we generally do not question the fact that sometimes we fall in love with people who add nothing to us or hurt us. If we can love those who do not suit us, does the love we feel justify enduring everything?
- Exaggerated romanticism is identified through a certain set of beliefs about love.
- It is quite possible that we identify with some of them.
- Because this type of romanticism is the one that appears in cinema.
- Music and advertising.
- Among other external influences that we receive.
Expectations have a great presence in exaggerated romanticism, when we start a relationship, we expect certain things to happen, while we expect our partner to show certain behaviors, and over time we show that not everything is as we thought. Expectations on certain occasions will result in the couple’s dissatisfaction.
It also happens that after the passion phase, when everything is ideal and wonderful, everything our partner does is negative. How is it that someone who looks perfect shows imperfections almost every day? The reason is that at this point our attention is easily directed. towards the “bad guy”. or towards the one we like the least, who can endanger the relationship. In addition, all this is strongly conditioned by the expectations of the beginning.
Another belief that represents exaggerated romanticism is the idea that the other person should make us happy and, to do so, must do certain things that we hope to satisfy; in this way, we are responsible to our partner for leading the relationship and, if it does not go well, we blame the couple, that is, there is a certain dependence.
In addition, exaggerated romanticism also implies that couples must have certain characteristics and behaviors, for example, be together as long as possible, show affection constantly, offer gifts on Valentine’s Day (if one day is not so important), or any other. Changing the relationship (less often in sex or paying less attention) can mean a crisis and a concern because the partner is “in the last one,” among others.
In exaggerated romanticism, emotional management is greatly reduced, due to the misconceptions that prevail in maintaining irrational love.
Let’s think about what happens when something you don’t like, instead of communicating it to our partner, we can shut up because we think we should never argue, until we can’t take it anymore and emotions and feelings all come out at the same time. time without any control.
Exaggerated romanticism is based on mutual coverage of needs. Both people sign a silent contract where the other must provide security, happiness and everything they need. You also need to know what the other person is thinking without saying anything. In return, the person turns completely to the relationship and forgets about himself.
This overwhelming belief in love makes everything that happens catastrophic, an argument, forgetting a special day, seeing someone attractive on the street, wanting to spend time alone or with friends?Circumstances that occur in other types of relationships that, in these cases, are not synonymous with drama.
As we have seen, a misconception about romance and love can add to us in harmful relationships, in which we will suffer instead of enjoying ourselves, so it is important to start questioning the beliefs that act on us to make us live a huge, crazy and catastrophic love.