Let the knot of rage take our breath away and suffocate us sooner or later the peak of rage, and with it a hurricane that will put us in the mouth of words that we will later regret. rational and more practical than being in a pointless discussion.
We know that at first glance this advice may seem simple, innocent and even very obvious, we say it for a very simple reason: managing negative emotions such as anger, anger or irritation are our Achilles heel. who still walk today in their adult costume and with their heads up, while inside hide the emotional maturity of a 4-year-old.
- “Anyone can get irritated.
- It’s easy.
- But getting angry at the right person.
- To the right extent.
- At the right time.
- With the right purpose and in the right way.
- Is not easy.
- Aristotle?.
Not only that, we must consider that anger extends its ramifications not only in the world of emotions, our language and cognition are attracted by the long tentacles of contraposed, vivid and terribly frustrated feelings, yet there are people who swallow and disguise them. demanding a skillful normality.
Gradually and day by day, this deadly virus is havocing, communication becomes aggressive, treatment becomes unequal, self-esteem decreases, blackmail appears, emotional inequalities and even psychosomatic disorders where the body itself shows the discomfort of the mind.
Here’s how to deal with this common reality
To understand how and how the world of anger is part of our daily lives, let’s take a very simple example: Amelia had a bad day at work. She’s late for dinner at home and when she walks in the door, Jaime, her escort, says she’s out because she’s settled with friends, however, before she leaves, she asks if everything’s okay or if she’d rather she stays. at home with her. Amelia replies that she’s fine, that she can “do whatever she wants, no problems. “
The next morning, the protagonist cannot help but feel the terrible sting of anger, he feels bad that his partner could not see the marks of his bad day, his discouragement and his suffering on his face, now his discomfort has increased even more because Jaime could not see during his breakfast his apathy, or the shadow of anger hanging in him like a wounded and caged animal.
This situation would probably have happened differently if Amelia had explained earlier that she had had a bad day, that she was not well, that she was devastated, finished and that she needed your support, however, sometimes circumstances get complicated, doubts and a Surge the desperate desire for others to understand almost without words what hurts us.
On the other hand, this situation is also justified by a very real fact that directly departs from everything that has been taught to us since we were little: “control, disguise ourselves, show as if everything is normal”. is probably the most misunderstood aspect in the field of emotional intelligence.
No one can control something they don’t understand by force, just because they do. You can’t put a lion in a cage if we don’t understand its needs first, its nature. However, it is clear that we cannot roam and show claws. , but we can be honest. Just say aloud, “No, I’m not well, I had a bad day today. “
Small, poorly managed and unresolved irritation can lead to a big problem, poor experience and poor weather that, day by day, will increase your mist toxicity. In fact, you don’t need to remember here the strong impact it tends to have. They have a person who is forever irritated in the family and work context. They walk in black holes that leave sequels and break harmony.
“There is no better battle than the one in which we finally understand each other. -Bouddha-
Here are some simple tips to think about that can help us prevent and mitigate the impact of these day-to-day irritations.
The first step can go against many things that we have been taught or recommended, we must understand that anger is not a bad thing, that anger is not something that we must swallow by force, it is necessary to adopt a positive and close attitude towards she. : it is an alert, a signal that we must pay attention to, understand and solve.
Finally, and after clarifying the priorities, we will put to work the most important ones, one thing that takes time to learn but that must be practiced daily: assertive communication, because to speak and resolve a disagreement or a situation of opposing ideas, there is no need to harm anyone.
Therefore, knowing how to be good managers of our own negative emotions, understanding that communicating means making agreements, positioning yourself with respect, but being able in turn to create bridges to improve life.