The family is the instrument of socialization that serves as an intermediary in the relationship between the individual and the rest of the world, this is the first model with which we must begin to relate: a social starting point that, in many cases, has an influence that goes far beyond childhood. In this sense, ‘lum de Fam’alia is a film that materializes a reality far removed from the idealized, but that repeats itself more than one would like to admit.
The feature film shows a familiar atmosphere that looks exemplary on the outside, but only those who live inside know what really happens in each home, characters who struggle between fraternal love for the people who gave it life and the dark panorama of an atmosphere of frustration. , envy and competitiveness, rather than love and protection.
- After the father’s suicide.
- The woman called the three daughters to return to the family home and attend her funeral.
- For each of them this visit is a return to past conflicts and resentments.
The father had been a refugee in alcohol for years and the mother was addicted to drugs. The couple had a very destructive relationship that was essentially limited to meeting their demands and complaints. The woman felt she hadn’t been treated the way she deserved. She punished her husband with impunity for an infidelity that occurred many years ago, from which a son was born, both of whom conceal this fact as the great family secret.
Both come from a marginal environment of poverty and mistreatment by their parents, rude people used to the rigors of life, proud of having left this environment without opportunities and of having won with sacrifice and hard work.
They projected their own desires for success on their daughters, but none of them seem to have met their expectations. The mother has a deep contempt for all three and does not miss the opportunity to question her way of life.
The mother’s character on the family album has narcissistic elements, but passive-aggressive personality defines her particularly well, focuses solely on her daughters’ mistakes, disapproves of them for opportunities she did not have, is manipulative, too theatrical and dramatic when her antics don’t work the way she would like.
She feels she’s competing with everyone. Any information you get from your daughters is used as a weapon against them. It constantly uses the associated double message (negative-positive-negative comment).
It represents the role of the sick woman who dominates the world. She feels assaulted because her daughters have built their own lives. Do whatever it takes to get them back and remind them of your “obligations to her. “Keep talking about how little I had, and how many they had.
The older sister has always played the role of mediator of order in family crises, both with young sisters and with her own parents, she developed a more controlling personality, which caused her several problems with her husband, who eventually divorced. I don’t know.
Despite her husband and daughter’s love for her, she ends up being unbearable that she won’t be allowed to relax, not even for a moment, with them. There is an internal struggle in this so as not to repeat the models of older generations. .
In traditional families there is always a daughter who acts as a caregiver for the parents, it is the case of the second girl in the film, who did not marry and did nothing good in her life but take care of her parents, which made her feel very calm towards them and their sisters. He has a very strange relationship with a cousin, but no one knows.
Her mother sees no problem in this girl fulfilling perfectly the role entrusted to her, but does not value her, hides her guilt by constantly attacking her.
The mother scolds her daughter for not forming her own family and blames her non-feminine appearance, even daring to compete with her in that regard, only to mock her. have developed an esquivo personality disorder.
The youngest girl is totally lost. She is a very childish and fragile woman, who just wants to please everyone to accept her, she has spent her entire adult life going from one romantic relationship to another, all worse than the other, risking with men who do not treat her well.
However, for her, all her relationships will be “forever. “He’s a very emotionally dependent person. Make a great effort to show your mother how happy she is and how perfect and idyllic your current relationship is.
For other people, his dear companions are simply “this year’s boyfriend. “It’s hard to say considering only the data the film shows, but it could be a border-limiting personality disorder.
All three girls grew up in an authoritarian style of upbringing, their parents never showed them any affection and kept strict control over their lives, there is a disorganized attachment in each of them, although each has treated it differently.
Still, when family crises occur, the first strategy they use is denial, which leads them to maintain a false family balance, and each develops a different defense mechanism to survive this family unit.
Is it definitely a pet? For the eyes of others, but extremely dysfunctional inside, where many triangulations occur.
The family album is just a movie, but it has been able to show many roles that are automatically assigned to family members, materializing the number of problems these roles can cause in the future, in the form of frustrated and denied wishes. The film takes place during the month of August, with suffocating heat (in the northern hemisphere). A strangulation that can be felt in your characters.
A few months ago, the provincial hospital in Castellón (Spain) presented a brilliant analysis of the film ‘Lum de Famolia’ in one of its seminars of personal formation, and shows in depth each of these topics from a therapeutic perspective.
These are roles that many people may feel identified with, and are very interesting information, both for the psychological well-being of those with these disorders and those around them in adulthood.