Family secrets are an invisible burden. These weights are predictable but, precisely because they are secret, they cannot be contained, let alone discussed and debated.
If they are related to serious or perverse events, the result may be unexplained severe depression, mania, or even a type of neurosis or psychosis.
- The press reported.
- For example.
- The case of Jennifer Teege.
- Who only knew that she had grown up in an orphanage and that by age 3 she had been adopted by her current family.
She felt that something was wrong with herself, so she tried to contact her biological mother to learn more about her past, which also did not satisfy her inner anxiety.
She had the feeling that dark family secrets surrounded her. Did you notice anything in your life?
“Why do adults think children get better secrets than truth?”Cornelia Caroline Funke
Soon after, Jennifer discovered that her mother had hidden relevant information, for example, that her grandfather had been a Nazi commander and that they also called him “Plaszow’s butcher. “
She only found out through a book and some documents, so he began his own investigation until he discovered her family’s secrets. In her own words: “I could only really start my life? Have an identity? When were my family stories revealed?
Family secrets exist because there is also family shame, and that’s exactly what makes the event an object of concealment: what shame.
This feeling is due to the fact that these are unacceptable facts, objectively or subjectively, otherwise they would not have to be hidden.
Psychoanalysis states that any repression is imperfect, so family secrets are a form of collective repression.
Everything that has happened is sent to a dark area so that this cover-up makes the problem disappear, however, hiding this is the way for the opposite to happen, this content will remain more alive than ever even if no one can see it. That.
That’s because the repressed always comes back. He does not sleep under the sleep of the righteous; stays more alive than ever and always finds his way back.
When we talk about repressed subjects the same thing happens with matter: it is not destroyed, it is only transformed And what happens to it?In neurosis or psychosis.
The shame hidden in family secrets is always accompanied by guilt, this guilt is one of the most toxic and harmful feelings that a human being can endure.
Whoever carries this guilt feels unworthy, seeks and finds ways to punish the himself unconsciously, also constantly projects or admits this guilt, although he never speaks directly of it.
Since our birth, we have received a series of implicit and explicit messages from those around us.
For example, we may feel that our mother is too nervous and dark. Or that he has incomprehensible displeasures and affations for us. At the heart of these behaviors that seem strange to us, there is certainly repressed content that is transmitted.
Everything that is not said and unknown is filtered into life in an imprecise but brutal way. Family secrets, when they are very serious or very guilty, make their guardians sick.
Moreover, these secrets are also implicitly transmitted to later generations, who do not inherit knowledge of what happened, but from their effects on the psyche.
Each of us is the son of a story and an attitude to life, when we are born we are a new chapter in this story and in this perspective, we do not start from scratch, we are put before a set of facts that define a lot of who we are.
That’s why it’s very important to know our transgenerational memory to better understand each other and discover an important part of who we are.
All this information is fundamental to our development and well-being, so knowing and understanding our ancestry is a way of interpreting our feelings, emotions and attitudes.
If we do not know the details of our ancestors, they will continue to condition our experiences, in each of us there is an echo of those who have preceded us.
Many unconscious conditionings come from family secrets or information we don’t know, for many people there is the secret of emotional discomfort and also how to overcome it.