Fantasy is an irreplaceable part of our lives, since children fantasize about what our life, companions or work will be like, and ultimately, fantasy is part of us and reflects our desires, sexuality is another area where our fantasies are manifested. pornography is the place where we see many of these desires represented.
Women in general, but mainly feminists, have several problems with pornography, the main thing is that the part that concerns sexual rights, has an autonomous pleasure that places us as the subject of our own sexuality, even if it is complicated in a patriarchal culture. .
- It is complicated because masculinity is built on sexuality.
- That is.
- It is more the man who has the most sex and with more women.
- On the contrary.
- It is no longer the woman who has the most relationships with different men.
- But the one who is more able to provoke male desire.
Man is always seen as a subject, who gives pleasure, and woman as an object, because he awakens the excitement of man, being pornography the most representative of this point of view. pornography and rejoice How is it possible? If we don’t want to be treated as objects, why do we consume pornography where we are objective?
“Pornography is the explicit representation of sex, which can be filmed, written, drawn or dramatized, and aims to excite sexually. Otherwise, you can’t call pornography. Therefore, pornographic material is not reality, but sexual fantasy, because what to propose is to excite, not to represent. ?- Beatriz Gimeno-
Pornography is a sexual fantasy, not a reality, fantasy is made of desires and therefore cannot be judged, this cannot be judged because we all fantasize that the boss had an accident so that we could get rid of it, or that our teacher was seriously ill. for not having to take an exam, but that didn’t mean we actually wished them this evil.
Fantasy, therefore, does not need to be moral, moral, ethical or feminist, fantasy is composed of desires, that desire that you use to arouse yourself sexually and that you do not have to have ethical conditionings.
That’s why you can fantasize about rape, consume pornography in which these practices are performed, without necessarily enjoying being violated in reality, you can also fantasize about violence, both male and female, without you doing it in your daily life, you’re just excited. by an idea, an intangible thing, unattainable but pleasant, in this different world, that of fantasy.
There is no need to blame yourself or blame yourself for one’s desires, because they are only a means of generating arousal, not sexual reality, so pornography does not have to have limits, nor does our head, only consent and legality. There are no good or bad desires, only desires that do not need to correspond to reality.
In marital life it is possible to go further and start making these sexual fantasies come true, but it is a false reality, that sexual situations are dramatized, rape and domination are simulated because it is actually a game, a violation allowed within its limits, in which the members of the couple interpret according to their wishes, get excited about the game and respect each other , because the limits are given by themselves.
Sex therapy considers that everything a couple wants to achieve by mutual agreement, i. e. when there is consent, is good for the sexual life of the couple, as long as there is no feeling of guilt in one of the members. getting involved in sex and respecting the boundaries between them will be a healthy sex life.
Because we live in a patriarchal society in which man is the figure of power in himself, it is normal for this to affect and reflect in our desires, this makes it common for our fantasies to have roles of power, and that in most cases, power is exercised by man over women , treating situations normally and explaining them according to the cultural context in which we live, whether feminist or not, would mean that fantasy, desire and sexuality are lived in a less stigmatized way and more natural way.
Children and adolescents are educated through the dissemination of pornography, i. e. free pornography easily accessible on the Internet. This is the sex education they get. It’s ridiculous not to talk about sex education and pornography with children, when you know it’s so accessible. Then pornography becomes your only sex education.
“Sexuality needs to be treated as natural, without stigma. I was ashamed to watch sex scenes on TV when I was younger because I saw my mother nervous and switching channels, it shows and is marked. explained what you see on the screen at the time. Amarna Miller
This type of pornography is undoubtedly sexist, only reflects male fantasies and does not allow to see the reality of women as subjects, and children see it. The problem would be solved by pedagogical controls, which could critically explain that this is not reality, that they are sexual fantasies, that fantasy is not, in itself, a reality.
Pornography is cinema, and just like when you see Superman stealing and you know it’s fiction, pornography itself is a fiction, just like in Narnia the characters who enter the closet go to another world and we can explain to our children that this won’t be the case. happen in your closet, it would be nice to explain to you that your sex life will not be like in pornographic films.
Explaining that wanting to fulfill a fantasy doesn’t mean forcing the other person to perform sexual acts that they don’t want because the person feels excited. Explain that when someone says ‘no’ it is ‘no’, no matter what the movies show. And this in pornography, when? I mean “yes, ” it means it’s a dramatization, they’re actors, and it’s written in a script.
After all, it’s not just about educating children about safe sexuality, it’s about responsible sexuality, a sexuality in which they understand that fantasies are healthy, to the extent they are, but always based on one requirement: they are only achievable if the other or other people involved in the sexual relationship agree.
What do you think?