Emilio Dura at one of his best-known lectures entitled ‘Optimism and Illusion’ says that 99% of the things that concern us are things that have never happened, nor will they happen, and this is true, because much of our suffering and its causes are within our brains, and what is really happening is that we are afraid to suffer.
Fear is a very human reaction, part of our natural instinct for survival, but sometimes it betrays us because it activates in situations where there is no real danger, in these situations we must learn to control our fears.
- We tend to suffer more from the mere idea of suffering than from a situation that can cause real suffering.
- Many people are afraid of loving or falling in love for fear of suffering later.
- And they hide behind a shield without realizing that this is not the case.
- They can.
- Be themselves.
- Nor know love.
To find out how fear works in the brain, scientists at the University of Texas Center for Mental Health in Dallas, USA, are not going to work. The U. S. , they conducted an experiment involving 26 adults (19 women and 7 men) between the age of 19 and 30.
The experiment involved showing participants 224 random images. Among them were real images (divided into images of danger and pleasant situations) and unreal images without any indication that would differentiate the two categories from each other.
Participants were asked to press a button with their right index finger when they saw a real photo and press another button with their middle finger when they saw unreal images, and the results were measured by electroencephalography.
Electroencephalogram results revealed that threatening images caused an early increase in theta wave activity in the occipital lobe (the area of the brain where visual information is processed).
Then there was an increase in theta activity in the frontal lobe (where superior mental functions such as decision-making and planning occur). In addition, an increase in beta waves related to motor behavior was also identified.
Therefore, based on these results, scientists have concluded that the brain prioritizes threatening information over other cognitive processes, and the experiment shows us how this process occurs.
To stop being afraid of suffering, there are no magic formulas, and there is no way to simply stop suffering and forget everything, but there are certain thoughts that we can do that will help us to put aside this sometimes irrational fear.
Choosing not to be afraid means managing your emotions and making sure they don’t dominate us, knowing us and choosing to be well and at peace with yourself, for this it is important to go through a process in which we reflect on how we feel and why we feel it.
To combat the fear of suffering it is essential not to fall into denial and to be aware that it is being suffered, in this sense, to have an objective vision, we can observe ourselves and notice what we think, how we think and what we think. Do.
In addition to this internal observation, it is necessary to make an external observation, look at your body and observe what you are trying to transmit. Try to wonder: what is your body saying? Listen to your body and identify this suffering.
Once we have done this internal and external analysis of ourselves, it is time to choose to stop suffering. To do this, we can start by abandoning the negative thoughts we usually have, such as: “I can’t get over it,” “I don’t deserve it,” “I don’t have time,” “It’s not worth it. “
Along with these negative thoughts, it is also important to overcome the limiting beliefs that we tend to have ingrained, such as “Suffering for love is the highest way to demonstrate true love. ” Letting go of negative thoughts and limiting beliefs is a fundamental step so that suffering does not invade us and that we can choose happiness.
It is common for us to be afraid of suffering and, moreover, to be afraid to express that fear for fear of what others might think, but expressing our deepest fears is what makes us courageous and honest, with others and with ourselves.
Saying what we feel, scaring with words is an act that requires a lot of courage, but that will make us break down the barriers that limit us and take the weight of what makes us suffer and prevents us from enjoying the best of life to the fullest. .