Fear of loneliness and anxiety are recurring themes. And they are because they correspond to two of the great evils of our time. More and more people are lonely and unsatisfied with it, but they also don’t know how to avoid it; for them it’s a problem, but they can’t find a way to solve it or live with it without feeling overwhelmed, it also increases the number of people experiencing anxiety in their daily lives, often the two realities appear together.
Often it all starts with a fear of loneliness. It is not being alone, but a feeling similar to abandonment, an imprecise anxiety. If fear grows and becomes very intense, so-called “existential discomfort” arises. constant feeling of being threatened or inhabited by emptiness.
- “The great man is he who.
- In the middle of the crowd.
- Maintains.
- With perfect sweetness.
- The independence of solitude.
- ” – Emerson-.
Usually these states lead to insomnia and sleepless nights: an auspicious place to feed hundreds of scattered and disturbing thoughts that fly where inertia carries them through their heads, which also leads to some inhibition towards others. It has a strained relationship with others and, if the bond strengthens, it becomes easily demanding and dependent. Back to anxiety?
Sometimes the fear of loneliness is not so obvious, for example, when people fill your calendar until it explodes, all so as not to leave a minute off, what they really don’t want is to make room for moments when they are alone, without a good excuse. What’s this fear of not having someone by my side?
In many cases what exists is an unresolved conflict, coming from childhood, in those early years we were very vulnerable, and any experience of rejection or abandonment left great traces: open wounds that do not heal for lack of care. loved was not and in that void there was a repressed fear, when we are alone we may encounter these painful and agonizing sensations, that the perception we have acquired of the world will remain very present today.
It may also happen that fear is not directed against loneliness as such, but against a facet of ourselves, there may be something that we do not want to see or recognize, so we avoid these encounters with the most intimate, who can only take place in solitude.
It is also possible that we have formed a very negative opinion about being alone, perhaps we have not really experienced it and avoided it, because we do not know the benefits of this condition. Similarly, loneliness becomes disturbing when we perceive oneseed as people unable to do so. dealing with life We need someone else to support us.
Anxiety caused by the fear of being alone can be treated and diluted, sometimes it is only necessary to control the situation and make some adjustments to your lifestyle, other times, this requires a professional consultation. In any case, it is healthy to take certain measures:
One of the most negative aspects of this anxious loneliness is that it leads to non-authentic bonds with others. The company is sought to reduce discomfort, but not to cultivate authentic relationships. To start having healthy relationships with others, you must first learn to Be Alone. He thinks that, at least in part, fear of loneliness is also a fear of life, because the only person who follows us everywhere is ourselves.