One of the great paradoxes of the human being is to want to be special and, at the same time, to be afraid to shine Who does not want to be recognized and admired?We all need others to see our virtues and it is an advantage if, in addition to seeing them, they gain in importance.
Despite this, many feel intimidated when they receive care, almost all of them, in fact. And that’s because gaining importance means getting away from the group, not staying in the fold. In other words, it will be “different. ” Hence, most of the time, the fear of shining.
“Your light doesn’t turn off the others, but it makes them brighter. -Amparo Mron-
So the first thing to do is to distinguish between being approved and exceling, when you win approval you get patted on the shoulder or emotion that proves that we are accepted and appreciated by a group, however, by outstanding and bright, it will not necessarily gain acceptance. It can even be rejected.
Sometimes the problem isn’t that extreme. The fear of shining can come from weakened self-esteem. In these circumstances, the recognition of others is frightening. By remaining anonymous, we secretly want to be searched and needed.
The success of others often hurts people, it is inevitable. That’s part of the package. An exceptional triumph impacts others and will even make many feel inferior, even if they do not intend to. An insecure person interprets the success of others as a threat. It is as if one person’s success underscores the fact that the other failed.
We know all this intuitively. We believe that success results in latent or explicit hostility. Fear of these reactions influences the fear of shining. You don’t want to create tension with others, especially if they’re important to you.
There are unconscious mechanisms that often punish those who stand out, who have more power or brilliness.
The family is the first nucleus of socialization and is often the place where the fear of shining is born. This occurs mainly when the family is dysfunctional or encourages lack of self-esteem, envy, or feeling inferior. If a member of that family succeeds, it may seem like a betrayal.
It is obvious that this does not happen in the field of consciousness, it infiltrates by behaviors such as the prohibition of achieving or forcing someone to put their talents at the service of others, then the idea is introduced that highlighting can have negative consequences. .
Parents also educate their children with certain implicit principles. One of them often suffers the suffering of children. Those who have parents like that will feel terribly unwell when they achieve an achievement that will make them very happy How do they feel good knowing they are suffering?Hence the fear of shining
We can add to what we said earlier that there are times when you’re afraid to shine because there’s a huge fear of being different. There is a fear of being singled out, questioned or rejected. In addition, exposing yourself is confronting the opinions of others. And exposing yourself means confronting the opinions of others, which is not always constructive for the new or different.
Usually this is because we value others too much. Therefore, we put much more emphasis on attributes than others approve of, rather than prioritizing the characteristics that make us unique. necessarily makes us happier.
Fear of shine often involves guilt and fear of rejection. Many people give up to stand out just to keep the affection of their family, friends or partner. Betray? The others end up betraying themselves. This adds to common misfortune and limited development. It’s not true. When you get better, it can also help others improve.