Today we will talk about one of the most familiar fears for most of us: the fear of taking the step.
Fear exists as an emotion because it is useful for the human species, it is an emotion that has accompanied us since our birth to ensure our survival in real contexts.
- Today.
- However.
- We no longer live in the middle of nature.
- With other potential predators such as the jaguar or lion.
- In fact.
- Most of the things that have frightened us throughout today’s history are not a threat.
- Or at least a threat.
- To which we can escape the escape.
How did Maria Dolores Pérez say well in her study: Fear and problems in childhood, prevention and educational intervention ?, is fear a normal response to a real danger or threat, which can become inappropriate?Isn’t it beneficial to the person when they occur in situations that are no longer dangerous, even if they have been dangerous in the past.
In this sense, fear ceases to be adaptive when, instead of saving us from a potentially dangerous situation, we find ourselves trapped in circumstances where there is nothing to fear.
Think of those who are afraid to speak in public. Is he at risk of dying?The truth is, no, none of this happens, yet your body reacts.
It is natural to have inappropriate fears like those mentioned above. While there are many others, such as losing money, losing great love, losing social status, they are all fears that do not hide a real threat behind them.
They can even hide a psychological threat, but still, most of the time, the emotional response is totally disproportionate to the real risk we face and the damage that would be done.
The fear of taking the step is one of those fears that exist only in our mind and never come true, but it is so disabling that it has serious consequences, instead of living the life we want and, therefore, growing, we stop and we look at the time. pass without being able to act.
The fear of taking the leap is often strongly influenced by what our environment and its inhabitants think of us. Imagine other people waiting for us to have a permanent home, but we never do it because we really want to buy a van and travel the world.
Therefore, we can live in doubt, with one step up to make the leap and the other well glued to the ground with a great weight tied.
No one can know for you. No one can grow for you, no one can seek you. No one can do for you what you are supposed to do. Doesn’t it admit the existence of representatives? -Jorge Bucay-
In therapy sessions with psychologists, professionals often encounter people who, throughout their lives, have meticulously measured every step they have taken so far: have they taken a certain course, took a career, found a stable relationship and a job, had children?
But what about your aspirations? Did they follow the same path?
In many cases this happens in a very subtle way, not that someone puts us against the wall and says, “You have to do this!What’s happening is that we’re moving in one direction or another that society is showing us. , and that’s not necessarily the way we want to go.
Thus, we may have the desire to study something else or to look for a different job than we have, but others can admire the work we are doing today, that is when external motivations overlap with our inmates.
In the face of the fear of taking the step, we only have two options: to take risks or stand still, if we run the risk of leaving our parents’ house we may not have as much contact with them as before. jobs, maybe the new one isn’t entirely to our liking.
In the same way, all this will take us out of our comfort zone, which always generates learning. In case we don’t do anything new, we’ll be constantly ruminating all the ‘what ifs’. It is so painful and disabling. that prevents a person from growing, living and living forever. Voltaire said:
“He who lives cautiously lives sad. “
The sense of locking is just an illusion. That’s because, in fact, there are fewer obstacles than we think. This is not to say that we have no real limitations or problems, but we can always adapt and move forward rather than stagnate.
In case we do not try, anxiety will begin to become more and more present, causing the feeling of not having a direction to escape, even if there are several paths available to move forward.