To feel alone in the relationship is to live one of the deepest and, at the same time, acute sufferings, it hurts not to know the reason for this emotional coldness.
It is strange to have the person we love by our side and not to feel it, few loneliness is more problematic (in addition to common) than those in a shared home.
- Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer rightly said that loneliness is very beautiful.
- Whenever we have someone to express it to.
However impressive, there are many situations in which a large number of people with a stable social life around them find themselves alone and disconnected from their environment, something like this not only causes psychological suffering, but also health problems.
The subject is not new. Feeling alone in the relationship is something that has always existed, however, today, and through studies on the loneliness of the population, we discover more data on this anatomy of suffering that appears in almost all ages.
This condition may be present in the relationships of young couples and is particularly common in older adults.
“If you’re afraid of loneliness, don’t get married” – Anton Chekhov-
There are tragedies that do not need visible words, aggressions or tragedies for suffering to appear, in fact, the greatest sadness arises in the silence of daily life, little by little and in this daily life where a person who once swore eternal love is set away. and unconsciously presents an emotional coldness.
Something like that, in fact, doesn’t it come from week to week, this psychological distance (which is not always physical) seems almost unsused, neglects to give importance to past customs or rituals, forgets the details, listens to the other but does not listen to what it says, does it get carried away by routine and do not want to do different things together?
These types of situations have a serious impact. Realizing that the couple seems to be mentally located elsewhere is not only painful, but also the source of many other problems.
Experts like Dr. Aaron Ben-Ze? Ev, a philosopher, psychologist and emotional relationship specialist, points out:
Let’s see below what the reasons for feeling alone in a relationship may be.
Sometimes the heartbreak seems like a cold wind whose source we have not identified, then and without anything happening everything loses its brightness, its meaning and its transcendence, the emotions are no longer the same and there is no need to force them or make them see what we no longer feel.
Lack of love doesn’t always need a specific reason for it to happen, it seems right, and when it does, it can be just as daunting for both members of the couple.
However, when we are fully aware that we no longer love each other, we must act and clarify our feelings. Mistakes (and self-illusions) that persist over time have serious consequences. One is to make the other suffer by realizing the obvious emotional coldness.
Feeling lonely in the relationship is more likely when the burden of routine is heaviest. There are times when we just get carried away. Work, obligations, children? Everything falls to a mechanical rhythm in which there is no place for affection, to look into each other’s eyes and find oneself.
In the end, even conversations are routine, eroding love and intimacy. Against this, we may try to make changes ourselves or ask for professional help. Passivity rarely solves the problem.
There is a third dimension to consider to be alone in a relationship, sometimes there comes a time in our lives when an inexplicable void appears, in that existential division are mixed discontent, lack of meaning and even fear of changing what surrounds us. .
This kind of situation is more common than we think. There are people who feel alone in the relationship because they are not the same; in them is present the frustration of not having what they want.
In such cases, there are no culprits, and although we think it is the other who has changed and can no longer give us what we need, it can actually be us.
Sometimes we are the ones who evolve, we grow in prospects to the point of changing tastes, needs or motivations (another professional projection, greater independence, new social and personal connections, etc. ).
In conclusion, loneliness in a relationship is as recurrent as it is deadly for many of them, first because it causes suffering and psychological and health problems, secondly because no one should even deserve to feel the kind of pain it leaves so much later. Effect.
So let’s look at the cause of this situation. Let’s talk to our partners and find solutions, being honest, respectful and responsible.