Feeling jealousy is something that is caused by insecurity and the need for possession, and these fears, far from approaching love, take us away from love, pollute our relationships and destroy their essence, which is freedom, so jealousy cannot be part of love and it is actually a sign that something is wrong.
They appear as a revealing feeling of a particular fear: to loss, that is, when jealousy appears, shows us that there is something important in the relationship that requires our attention, in this case jealousy serves us to inform us that there is a danger, that of losing the affection and attention of someone loved.
- “We only know the state of love when jealousy.
- Envy.
- Possession.
- And dominance come to an end.
- There is usually possession.
- Not love.
- -Krishnamurti-.
When this mistrust arises, it is common for us to feel abandoned, rejected and excluded by the presence of a third person. This feeling is painful and causes great discomfort. It means there’s something to keep in mind that doesn’t work in the relationship.
Jealousy first serves to show that there is something we need to solve in our relationship with another person, waiting for questions that we neglect at some point and that cause us insecurity and mistrust, jealousy can be just a warning and disappear when the problem is solved, or it can become problematic and pathological.
A widespread but unfounded belief is the idea that jealousy is synonymous with love. However, being jealous doesn’t mean we love one more person; are simply activated fears, often related to emotional insecurity. As the person, relationship and love evolve, there is more maturation and the feeling of jealousy decreases.
Can jealousy also emerge maturely? Like all emotions and feelings?To help re-establish and strengthen a relationship, being a reason to move forward together in solving difficulties. These jealousy does not come from imagination: they are activated when there is a real distance from the other person.
When we feel unattended and think that the person we love puts all their concentration and attention on others, it is normal for jealousy to appear, an alarm is triggered that serves to mobilize us and show what we fear.
What happens usually when there are two children in a house and adults pay only one child?When does an only child realize he or she is no longer the only child?In these cases, this emotion arises with the intention of ensuring our survival.
Jealousy is healthy when we pay attention to the alarm and try to think with the warning of maturing. To be able to express ourselves in words and become aware of our fears – of which we are solely responsible – can help us intelligently integrate jealousy into the situation and context that caused it.
This type is more related to our lack of self-esteem, to the feeling of insecurity in any situation, real or imaginary, jealousy becomes a problem of interpretation and hypothesis, which inevitably leads to misunderstandings, since we constantly reinforce the situation. of insecurity we find ourselves in.
In such cases, we do not try to resolve the situation, nor mature when we realize our fears, pathological jealousy frightens us but make us react disproportionately to any situation that is sometimes interpreted as inating attention even if it is not. .
Many people need to make their relationship jealous to measure love, these people are convinced that love goes hand in hand with this feeling and that without jealousy there is no love, this idea is nourished by jealousy but is, in fact, the characteristics of a childish love.
The need for attention and continuous demonstrations of affection can lead to this situation by manipulation, attempts are made to cause concern in the other person, so that he feels that at any time the relationship can end if there is no insistent demonstration on the part of the other person. of the person.
Those who cause mistrust end up damaging the bond and causing esttachment in the relationship. A love based on worry and fear continues to lose the person cannot be sustained.
Finally, if we understand the function of jealousy, what they are for, what they tell us and how we can solve them, we will understand why they appear, and also, and above all, we will be able to use this feeling for our advantage, control it and avoid falling into its destructive claws.