Human history confirms that we are social beings. From the appearance of the first hominins to the development of different species, men and women came together to live together. Our emotional environment underpins our networked relationship.
The discovery of fire not only allowed us to see the dark nights, protect ourselves from the cold and cook the flesh, but also generated encounters around the fire and led to contact, proximity, looks and the birth of the first primitive forms of dialogue.
- Vulnerability and resilience.
- The ability to resurface in the face of adversity.
- Are constructions that make sense in a context and form a choreography ranging from stability to more disruptive instability and.
- Of course.
- Change.
And it’s not just that, because they also lead people to develop actions based on the different meanings they attribute to the facts that happen in life.
In this choreography different communication games are developed: personality styles, the characteristics of each interlocutor, the form of verbal expression, paraverbal or non-verbal expression, the context in which the dialogue takes place and the content of the conversation.
Thus, both nutritious and emotional interaction games and those with high toxicity coexist within human communication.
When two people try to communicate, certain rules of communication develop as dialogue evolves; however, as the number of interlocutors increases, complexity also increases and everything becomes more prone to misunderstandings.
Among these games, triangular (three-person) games have a fateful amount, alliances are established that become a coalition against a third, the famous two-on-one, in which the third will have to endure the segregation and disqualification of the other two: rumors, ill-treatment, insults, manipulations, ironies, provocations, among others. Definitely a toxic game.
Jealousy is an example of a threesome. A relationship of two is interrupted by a real or imaginary third party, in a situation in which one of the two feels relegated because he believes that the couple maintains certain behaviors of emotional closeness with another person.
This game generates anxiety, aggression, guilt, reprimands, despair and other polluting feelings.
One of the most toxic games is envy. In fact, Catholicism regards envy as one of the seven deadly sins, with lust, gluttony, laziness, greed, pride, and anger.
This dark feeling stems from the fact that the achievements and successes of a loved one who has some relation to the envious show the latter his or her own disability or lack of capacity.
Then the envious initiates a series of disqualifications in relation to the envied in the attempt to destroy it, it feels so small, so helpless to the success of others, that it must bring it down until it is reduced and brought to its knees to feel superior.
However, being jealous isn’t just about coveting what others have. What best characterizes true envy is the desire that envy does not have what it has, that its success is not real.
Thus understood, it is possible to conclude that envy is the mother of resentment, a feeling that does not seek that one is better, but that the other gets worse.
The envious becomes a satellite of the envied and carries his pain inside, for, if he explicitly declared it, he would expose his inferiority.
Envy is the feeling of disgust at not having something and the desire to possess that something until you manage to deprive the other of that very thing.
Sometimes the envied don’t even realize the feelings of the envious. Nobody says, “I envy you. ” The envious one tries to hide his emotions and prefers not to show his self-contempt and operate with sarcasm and devaluation for the success of his interlocutor. Expressing or expressing envy would be a symptom of health.
In the professional sphere, when the boss envies his subordinate, envious behaviors become more complex and enred, especially when the subordinate is beautiful, funny and intelligent, virtues that, in the eyes of the envious, are amplified.
A characteristic of the envious is to show that envy has come where it happened through political relations, because it went with the technician or that, behind his appearance as an intelligent person, there is a family drama, for example, an envious footballer. You don’t miss the opportunity to disqualify the way envy plays.
Envy means not respecting distance or emotional closeness, and envy between friends or siblings is a double bet on these dark feelings.
Jealousy promotes the desire for the opponent of the envied person to keep the trophy, play the game better, opt for the highest position or get a high score in the Show envy competition in this way is lashive and treacherous because, while the envious shows that he is happy with his friend’s achievements behind , he deeply wants me to fail.
The feeling of envy is associated with a malicious, dishonest and immoral attitude, feelings that are the basis of strategies to overcome the envied. The envious one tries, by all means, to convince himself that the success of envy is not true, undervalues and disqualifies both the person and the content of his success.
Can you say phrases like :?Is he luckier than skill ?, isn’t he as smart as it seems?Will your success undoubtedly be ephemeral?, etc.
If the envious is able to convince himself that what he says about the envied person is true, he himself is wrong and will probably make him feel better, even if it is not a true well-being.
However, the epicenter of glory for the envious occurs when envy fails, when their projects fail, when it fails, falls into depression, is publicly rejected, the work of its opponent is valued, or any situation that shows the fall of envy.
Feeling jealous can lead to self-deception
At the moment, the silent desires of the envious come true, and that is where he positions himself above the envied, so that he finally feels superior and regains his poor self-esteem (although it is a false personal assessment, not an authentic one and this period of rejoicing for the failure of the other is called malevolent joy.
One of the most manipulative attitudes of the envious?As a demonstration of your lie and irony? It is when your enemy is saddened by his failure and approaches him amicably and, in full joy, shows his condolences and offers words of encouragement:?Or “How angry, don’t you know how much I understand you?”
When envious envy is invaded by an irrepressible and uncontrollable feeling: it speaks of the evil of envy and tries to do it some harm, such as denying things to it, marginalizing it, defaming it, offending it, mistreating it psychically or physically, acting with sarcasm, ironies or double senses.
Certainly, at some point in our lives, we have all experienced this emotion, because it is deeply rooted in human nature.
However, behind someone who is envious, there is a devalued person who, instead of valuing himself, is responsible for belittling the desire to balance his self-esteem. Despite this, this form of precarious valuation leads nowhere in the territory of self-esteem. estimates, only reinforces the devaluation.
The truth is that if an envious person realizes his devaluation, he would probably no longer be envious. It’s really amazing that a feeling as complicated as envy can be stronger than admiration for another.
Admiration is a noble feeling, a way to value and highlight the achievements of a couple, a friend, a family member, it is about expressing it and doing it well.
In addition, it is an easy, simple, non-complex feeling, but to feel it we must be in balance with ourselves, valued and willing to positively rate the achievements of others.
Admiration allows us to ask the other what he has done to achieve this feat and, in this way, to obtain the formula of success.