Humans are programmed to look at each other. However, there is a big difference between looking at oneself and being a selfish person or not appreciating what others may feel about our actions. In the end, it is true that we are all responsible for their feelings, but nonetheless it is true that there are also many ways to mistreat or sabotage them.
Thinking about oneself does not conflict with generosity, selfless behavior or solidarity, in fact, in the society in which we live today, it is possible to reap many benefits by being selfless and generous. Benefits that are also intrinsic, so they will keep our motivation
- Living thinking that you have to be selfish because people or society are selfish creates enormous insecurity.
- As if the only way out was to pass on to others.
- Yet opting for a more generous.
- More interested in others and less individualistic attitude is the best way to generate opportunities.
People are selfish by nature, because selfishness was born of the need to survive in the past, however compassion was also born for the same reason, in the end, the human being, as a species, probably would not have survived without his ability. to form societies.
In this sense, it is necessary to redefine selfishness or at least interpret the socially acceptable or unacceptable in order to strike a balance between our private interests and those of the society in which we live.
Of course, thinking about the good of others or the good of others is also an action, somewhat selfish, because, at least in theory, what is good for the group or for the other also benefits the individual. good for others has benefits for those who do.
A selfish person is not able to see the benefits of surrendering to others or sharing their time, knowledge, or resources. Selfish people think that only what benefits them is really beneficial or, moreover, that a small but decent advantage is better than a big one if shared.
Being able to maintain control is a positive thing, but what happens when someone else controls it, what happens when you depend on others?Are you in a position to take positive responsibility that the other person is responsible, that you must respect and submit to your decision?
For a selfish person, the contributions and needs of others are less important or valuable than personal ones, including those related to decisions that affect the other in the first place.
Selfish people must control everything, both things that affect them directly and indirectly. This anxiety about control makes them too critical of others and makes them mentally spin anything that might mean a sharing of responsibilities or a loss of control.
Collaboration requires the ability to listen, engage and accept the opinions and proposals of others, this is closely related to the obsession with loss of control that we mentioned in the previous point, on this side the inability to work as a team could indicate a problem of selfishness.
In today’s situation, collaborative intelligence or collective intelligence is critical for anyone in a social environment, so collaboration is so important in everything from learning to business expansion.
It doesn’t matter how diverse our way of thinking is. We are witnessing everything people can accomplish if they work together, if everyone contributes what they know and puts it at the service of others so that others can continue to explore and expand their knowledge. A selfish person is not able to see this because he thinks that what others earn is something he loses, when everyone actually wins.
Avoiding guilt is a standard excuse to justify something that didn’t work out well. However, the solution to the problem is more important than responsibility. Behind a person who cannot take responsibility, there is probably a selfish person who only knows how to avoid retaliation or crooked looks.
However, taking responsibility is actually very liberating, as much as accepting a mistake made by others without judging or humiliating it for it. Accepting responsibility without burdening the burden of guilt is a great act of generosity toward oneself, a generosity that extends to others. when necessary.
For a person who is not satisfied with what he has, his main concern will always be to have more and more, so that the needs of others come to the fore; a person who does not appreciate what he has will feel unhappy and poor and will not be able to see the value of certain things that, although they seem insignificant, are the ones he really needs.
Behind someone superficial and materialistic there is usually a selfish person, who is only interested in his or her own material needs and therefore despises and/or ignores the needs of others, including spiritual ones.