If there is one thing life does not prepare us for is for death, how can we deal with the emptiness left by those who are no longer with us?Our heart is used to breathing breaths of energy, vitality, good memories and one or the other. Disappointment.
Now, how do we assume the emptiness, the absence, the non-company of those who were so important in our daily lives, is something that no one informs us about, something that almost no one assumes will happen.
- Death is a void in the heart.
- An open wound in everyday life.
- It appears under the impulse of the moment and without farewell; when it should actually be like a serene farewell on the platform of a train.
- Where one last conversation and a long hug are allowed.
I am sure that you currently have more than one absence in your mind, empty in your soul that you dream of every day Is there a correct way to pay for the loss of a loved one?
The answer is no. Each of us, within our particularities, has strategies that will be more useful than the others, however, there are existential problems that we invite you to know now.
We just want him to help you, because remember: whoever leaves never does it at all, continues to exist in your memories and sleeps in your heart.
There are several types of losses. A long illness allows you to prepare for a kind of farewell, but unfortunately there are also unexpected, cruel and incomprehensible losses, so hard to accept.
You left without saying goodbye, without giving me a chance to heal wounds, to tell you words I could never give you out loud. Still, is it your memory this flame that doesn’t go out and that illuminates my present, accompanying me, getting involved?
Few experiences like the loss of a loved one cause us so much emotional suffering, we feel so overwhelmed that the most common thing is to be paralyzed, the world persists in moving forward, while for us everything stops abruptly.
It will not surprise you to know that losses are designed as vital moments in which many other dimensions are included in addition to the emotional dimension, there is physical suffering, cognitive disorientation and even value crises, especially if you follow a certain type. of philosophy or religion.
This has happened to us, and as such, we have to assume it, and somehow “rebuild”. This process, as you know, leads to grief, which usually lasts a few months. Life is necessary, we will never forget, the beloved, but we will learn to live with this absence.
Now let’s look at the most common stages of bereavement
The need for each of us to be grieving is as important as letting ourselves be helped. He who does not accept, who does not let go and who learns to leave those who no longer leave is trapped in pain that will prevent him from moving forward.
One could talk about the need to prepare for adversity, but it is actually something much simpler: to assume that one is not eternal, that life is composed of moments to live with intensity, because no one has a permanent quota in this field. . World.
Accepting loss is not forgetting, and future laughter or happiness does not mean wanting less for those who are no longer there, is it about integrating them into our hearts, in harmony, in peace?you think and do.
We also know that for many, some of these words will not be of much use, there are unnatural losses, no parent should lose a child, no one should lose their partner, that part of their heart that gives them life, strength and value.
It is not easy, no one warned us that life would bring us those moments of pain, and yet we are obliged to live, because this world is relentless, flows fast and almost uninterrupted forces us to continue breathing.
And don’t hesitate, you should. For them, for those who are no longer, and for themselves, because to live is to honor whom we love, to take them with them every day, to smile at them, to walk for them, to open your heart and let you move forward, to shine for them.
Images courtesy of Catrin Welz-Stein.