Is it possible to forget what hurt us?Forgetting may not be a matter of willpower, which does not mean that we cannot help our memory lose it.
We all go through situations, relationships and moments that made us happy, but there comes a time when happiness is cut, broken, some people disappear, others love runs out or distance sets traps for us, what can we do so that these memories do not hurt?
- Perhaps the first idea to consider is that forgetfulness.
- In the literal sense of the word.
- Does not work.
- The louder we shout that we don’t want a memory.
- The more it will appear in our minds in the form of a circular.
- He thought.
- It was and will remain.
- Albeit now in another way.
- But the memory is there.
- You have to learn to live with him.
- So that it doesn’t cause any more pain.
It is up to us to give new value to this thought, to integrate it into our life story without producing pain. A good inner discourse is this: “It made me happy, I learned from all the bad things that happened and I keep the Good Memories in my memory. If I try to forget, they will appear more at the center of my consciousness and more power will have to generate negative emotions. Everything that was part of my time now is part of my story?
No matter how hard we try or how hard we try to get what hurts us out of our minds, we’re unlikely to make it. Not talking about pain, closing to meet new people, not writing to someone else to hold a grudge or not forgive the harm they have caused us is not to forget.
Keeping in vilo or recurrence the problems that harm us, is to prevent them from being expressed so that we can control their effects. Unfortunately, they are still there, wrapping them only means keeping memories in a dangerous place, because touching them will hurt us again.
When you forget, it does not hurt, you do not remember, you cannot live what you felt at that moment, but it does not remove it, it erases it, as it is an impossible task (no We do not have a button in the mind that sends everything that is not wanted to the garbage), it is worth trying to do what is in our hands, this translates into a reflection on the value of this memory, on how we want to preserve what continues to hurt us and why.
We have the opportunity to work on the experiments and not let them control us, we are more than memories, we are the ones who give meaning to our memory, we are more than thoughts, because we are definitely the ones who shape them.
From the moment we read it and develop it, the memory will be in us. We will remember how it was with our grandparents, we will remember this first love that marked us so much, we will remember when we played or talked on the phone with our friends, when we visited other cities, summer beers. These memories remain and remain in me, devoid of association with other negative memories, so they will shine brighter.
We learned that making a “gross” effort in oblivion produces sterile and frustrating work. I don’t want to forget the good things, just what hurts me, and it’s a process that requires our intelligence, but also time and patience.
On the other hand, if it hurts us it is because it happened, because we feel, because we are alive, we will not take you out of our mind, we will give you a new value, a new place, learn to live We will leave it, but removing its importance, integrating it in a new way into our history.