I’ve seen everything ruined in my absence in your life, I don’t know if it was your act, whether I threw the rope for the organization in our lives or if I collapsed your world, this last possibility brings me a little guilt. , I admit it. We were happy, weren’t we? And when I decided to leave, I thought he was doing everything he could for us. I didn’t want to see you collapse or lose your strength. Forgive me for that.
You’ll tell him I have no right to decide what’s best for you. You’re right, not really. But I have a duty to decide what is best for me, and with great suffering I have seen both see the end. My happiness was over.
- It doesn’t matter who’s to blame.
- Honestly.
- I always thought the end of a relationship was their fault 99% of the time.
- But it was I who decided to leave (physically) this relationship.
- Because we had left each other’s lives a long time ago.
- You know.
When we started this journey, I imagined a relationship that might have existed for some time. It was with pride that I saw people praise the couple we were in, the family we built, the beautiful children we had, everything was perfect. But was there a void in me that was hard to fill?And every day I charged you, would it be fair for you to go on like this?
É? Eu não posso decidir o que é melhor para você. Mas posso escolher não ser o mal na sua vida. Por isso eu parti. Não tinha mais em mim o amor que você talvez precise. Perdoe-me por não te amar mais.
I’ve considered making that decision. I thought of you, us, our children, our parents, our “friends. “Countless times, I looked in the mirror for a long time and my eyes filled with tears, I asked my reflection: Are you sure?But what do you want from life?
He didn’t know how to respond exactly to what he wanted in life, but he no longer wanted to be with you. I made a list of all your flaws and used it as fuel to stick with my decision, pointing out all the bad things between us and holding onto them to keep in mind that this was no longer the life I wanted.
Then someone advised me to do the opposite, to put the right things between us on the stairs, the reasons that made me stay and allow myself to continue, to my surprise and to my sadness, there was nothing left to hold on to. I thought we had built a solid foundation on the rock, I thought we had the cake recipe, that we were a perfect couple, and I didn’t notice that love reigns in imperfection between two parts that they fear every day, not having the other close.
We cease to be afraid in the end, because we believe that this will never happen, we stop conserving love, healthy jealousy, daily affection, snacking and moments alone, because we have reached a point where our pride has judged an unwavering relationship. we didn’t realize that love ended day after day, a little every day, in homeopathic and lethal doses.
I no longer saw any reason to love you, and after repeating it hundreds of times for reflection in the mirror, “Are you sure?I decided, by myself, in the most selfish way possible, that I didn’t want to stay. Because if you stayed, you wouldn’t be the person you deserve, and no matter what kind of person you really are, on behalf of all the years we’ve shared together, you deserve the happiness and love I can’t give you anymore.
I went my way. I found a new love. I didn’t wait any longer minutes, because I waited years while we were together and, how long should I wait longer, I left with the guilt, wishing I had the power to make you feel good, without harm, understand my motivations and hopefully. according to them.
I don’t know if that was the case. I don’t know what feelings you have in you, I saw sadness and I saw his world abandoned, it seems that he was parked waiting, who knows, my repentance, confirmation of my mistake in deciding to leave, there is no mistake. I checked my heart several times to make sure I no longer loved you, not with male-female feeling. Not without looking at you with that fraternal concern for well-being, which does not shoot at the heart. Don’t shake the body, don’t get excited. They went around day after day, in a mechanical movement of life.
So I left with immense guilt on my shoulders, because I promised and swore love looking him in the eye, before this justice of the peace and at many other times when I kissed him I said I would always be there. t counting on the end. At that moment, you gave me many reasons to inspire every bad moment and think about all the good that allowed me to continue.
Mistakes are made when this “pseudosolidity” is trusted. We were wrong when the kisses with the tongue ended, the eyes on the eyes to say “Do I love you?And the message in the middle of the day. I was wrong when I said that I no longer believed in romantic love and thought it was a loving friend who made the relationship last. That day, when I took what was wrong with us and managed trying to make it look good, I chose to grow the poison that killed our relationship.
I went Aplaze and over-deferred the decision and the wave got so big that it caused everything: family, house, children?None of this was a safe barrier to keeping me there. I came out with a brave embarrassing, swollen chest and solving my life, alone. My heart was filled with fears and uncertainties, but with the full conviction that this was no longer my place. my home.
Looking now, I feel like I’ve brought your world down. I’m pretty sure your world was resting on me and I took off your accessory. I remember your angry expression wondering if I thought you wouldn’t survive without me. Of course, I never thought that. But now I wanted to see you better, I wish I’d made a decision that was very good for both of us, can I ease my guilt of looking you in the eye and feeling like I can’t love you?Forgive me for that.
Maybe you hate me. Maybe someday I’ll thank you. Maybe he loves me. You may feel anger and pain and it will end at some point. Maybe someday we’ll sit down, have a coffee and talk to me about your life, tell me it was so much better.
Maybe I shouldn’t apologize for not being able to love you, maybe I should apologize for taking this guilt, for having decided my happiness, for thinking I’m responsible for yours, maybe?But it is with conviction that today I look at the reflection in the mirror and answer:?I’m sure!
I don’t know where I’m going But where I am today makes me happy, so I’ve dropped the weight of my body and let the wind take me, adjusting the sails from time to time and following my heart, I no longer have this romantic love, but I have gratitude and respect for the story we’ve built, for the years we’ve shared , and I have in my heart the sincere desire that you find the happiness that I cannot give you.
Forgive me for not loving you, but if you can’t forgive me, be happy, so I’ll have my redemption.