It is not easy to establish strict parameters to define an abusive relationship, in fact, the same cannot be applied to all relationships in which there is an exploiter and an exploited person, there is abuse if a party cannot respond on an equal footing. coercion, aggression and intimidation.
Abuse occurs when someone uses their position of power or preeminence to control the behavior of others, based on their own needs. Abuse is found when one person takes advantage of another person’s physical or emotional fragility to put them to work. Abuse is also configured if there are circumstances in which one person depends on another and that addiction is used to coerce or restrict their freedom of action.
- Sometimes abuse is not so obvious because it does not manifest itself in insults or screams; sometimes it is simply a systematic process of declassification.
- Manipulation and blackmail.
- So that someone becomes a person unable to act.
- Respond or decide freely.
- All this is justified by claiming one great love or the well-being of the other as the main reason.
The truth is that in all cases abuse leaves wounds in the heart and mind, undermines creative resources and fills life with fear, so you have to be careful with certain signs that can warn you that you are in an abusive relationship.
Fear is perhaps the most obvious sign that we are facing an abusive relationship, sometimes it is an obvious fear: the person becomes very tense in the presence of the other thinking of “punishment” or the consequences that can result if you bother that person. .
Other times, the fear is more subtle: there is an excessive desire to please the other, with this attitude the person pretends not to give reasons for the mood changes and constantly cares about what needs to be done so that the other person is always satisfied.
In an abusive relationship, one of them must be constantly accountable to the other for everything he does, and even for what he thinks or feels, it seems that you are not free to travel or act without prior consultation or without informing the person.
This control will probably extend to your finances and even the way you dress or comb, virtually everything you do has to pass the person’s approval and, if you don’t, you’ll hardly be able to move on.
In abusive relationships of any kind a constant feeling of guilt arises, the person feels inadequate and unable to defend himself, this person who is at the origin of the abuse constantly criticizes you and that is why you feel guilty.
In these cases one or both situations can happen: you think the other owns the truth and all you do is help you, or you realize that things aren’t going well, but you can’t find the strength to change your situation. Both cases cause guilt: in the first case, for not adapting to what the other expects of you; in the second, so as not to be able to set limits.
In an abusive relationship, one can force the other to do something he doesn’t want to do, this may be due to direct physical assaults or more subtle threats and coercions, however, the essence of all this is that you don’t want to do something and you’re forced to do it under the pressure of the other.
The aggressor knows exactly where his power comes from. In the case of an economic dependence, your direct or veiled threats will be addressed accordingly. If it’s an emotional addiction, you’ll play with your fear of abandonment and so on.
In this case, we are talking about two adults without physical or mental limitations; it takes two people for abuse. Both are responsible for abuse and abuse is often reciprocal; while one makes use of force, for example, the other responds as a victim of the situation. It is a situation that must be resolved quickly, because sooner or later it will negatively affect those involved.