In the teachings of the Tao there are wise advice to deal with and live with difficult people, those presences that suck our energy and often put a barrier in our way, according to the principles of Lao-Tseu, in these cases the best thing is to maintain the serenity, to ward off negative emotions and not to empower those who like to calm us down.
If we look at the latest publications on how to improve our communication style and how to succeed at work, there is one common theme: the need to learn how to deal with difficult people. Well, now we are aware that this label gives a name to a small disaster box, and that is why it is worth defining, first of all, what we mean by difficult personalities.
- In the world of business and coaching we are aware that.
- In order to survive in our social contexts.
- We must live vigorously with very specific personality profiles.
- We are talking about passive.
- Aggressive and narcissistic people.
- They are people who are present in almost all scenarios.
- Who abuse their verbal power.
- Are manipulative and sometimes their mere presence already dulls our minds.
In recent years, many publications aimed at teaching us how to deal with such situations have been fueled by tao teachings for several reasons: first, by the good management of emotions, second by the proper management of the states we encounter. Eventually we can deal with abuses of power, set limits and improve our communication styles.
No matter that Lao-Tsé’s texts are centuries old, his legacy remains very useful.
“Controlling the enemy without fighting it is the highest skill. ” – Gichin Funakoshi-
In the teachings of Taoism the likeness that living is like sinking into a river, being guided by your channel without resistance is part of the harmony that we must all enjoy.
However, concepts such as struggle, confrontation or resistance are the antithesis of this idea, this concept that simply encourages us to move forward with courage and flexibility. Thus, whoever chooses, for example, to take advantage of the discussion, the constant affront. for difficult people, they will only have more discouragement and immense frustration.
Choosing not to fight does not mean surrendering or being dominated, above all it means not giving power to those who do not deserve it, opting for wisdom over violence and choosing calm before opening the floodgates, so that anguish invades us.
“Is emptiness the best starting point? So put aside all your prejudices and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is so useful, why is it empty?-Bruce Lee-
Difficult people often ruin our day with a single word or comment. No matter how irrational your message is, the inadequacy of your actions always affects us. One of the tips of Tao’s teachings is that the less receptive we are, the more space we have. to use judgment.
So let’s try to control anxiety, negative emotions, once the difficult person has performed his maneuver, we’ll count to 10 and take a deep breath, no one has the right to ruin our day, so let’s get rid of anger and mood.
The mind must remain as a clear room, where the polluted wind enters through a portal and disappears in a second by another.
Difficult people sometimes make us victims of their unhealthy attitudes, we gradually accumulate so much hatred, discomfort and frustration that we run the risk of reacting in the worst way, that is not appropriate. Sooner or later we will regret this reaction and, above all, we will regret not having set limits before.
“Be not a slave to anything or anyone else, attain true freedom. “- Jeet Kune Do-
Tao recommends that we learn to be proactive, what exactly does this mean?This means that we should learn to take control of events instead of seeing how they happen.
One tip the Tao teaches us is that every time we see a difficult person, we will try to put ourselves in his place using the following phrase: “This shouldn’t be easy. “
Understanding the opinions of others will allow us to be better able to control the situation and we will when we are willing to help. This is more appropriate when we make constructive, accurate and motivating criticism.
“There are times when, when everything else fails, there is no choice but to be frank. Like bamboo that takes on strength after being bent?The Leadership Tao?
Sometimes this happens: some circumstances with difficult people reach our limit and not only are we cornered, but we feel bent or even completely humiliated, in those moments the Tao recommends us to visualize a bamboo.
They also bend, they also receive the impact of the fierce wind that wants to control them and have them under their power. However, this never happens, as bamboo is strengthened by its flexibility. Bending makes him stronger to reason.
We can do that too. When we feel we’ve reached the limit, it’s time to increase the strength to bring about change. We will not use violence, because force is not violence, it is a capacity for response, it is to know how to position ourselves courageously. in front of those who dare to become what we are not: weak people.
In conclusion, the Tao’s teachings contain wonderful foundations of knowledge that continue to stimulate our ability to learn, enlightening us with their moderate strength to more wisely address the complexities of today’s world.
We will learn from them and apply them whenever possible.