How many times has it happened that when you meet a wonderful person with which you think you can start a successful relationship, an inner voice tells you, “Do you really think that person will look at you?Look how he dresses, win at least twice what he earns?
This kind of thought that suddenly takes over your mind comes from past experiences where the results weren’t favorable to you, and they are to never suffer again. Psychologists call this voice one? Internal criticism?(internal criticism) and, even if we think it is a tool that helps us avoid problems, it works more like an element of self-buttoning that prevents us from advancing in life.
- Although internal criticism speaks to us in all situations.
- It is particularly common when it comes to sentimental relationships or any kind of intimacy with other people.
- Because in most cases the approach to others was what caused the deepest wounds.
The internal criticism? It does not send positive messages. He usually repeats the worst concepts sown by his parents or other very close authority figures, whose opinion was important to you.
Let’s say, for example, that for your mother, you’ve always been a bum because you didn’t help at home. When you meet someone you care about and succeed at work, your inner critic can convince you that you’ll never win. that person because he’s not trying hard enough.
Or suppose your grandfather tells you that you’re not pretty and that when you meet the man or woman of your dreams, your inner critic will send you a message telling you not to come near him, won’t you even see him again?
Get rid of this inner critique and gain confidence! To defeat this strong opponent, you must follow the steps below.
Learn to detect the critic’s voice as soon as it appears, if at some point in the day negative thoughts begin to attack you, stop for a minute and recognize that it is not you who does this, it is your past. talking experiences.
When you were a child they called you lazy, they said that your face did not have harmony, or anything else in your style, but now you are an adult who can and can work when you want, and whose physical characteristics are very pleasant (or at least original?) . You recognize that you have changed and you can do what you have to do again. Practice thinking about the same idea in a positive way, for example: “This beautiful and successful woman can really love me, because I am in such a good mood. ” Or, perhaps, like this: “The man of my dreams will realize that I have a great capacity to communicate with all kinds of people ”.
Meditation is a great tool to calm the inner voices that keep us trapped in a vicious circle. Surround yourself with a quiet environment and relax your body in a disciplined way. Meditation puts the critic in the spotlight and helps keep them at bay.
When the internal critic sends you one of your negative messages, dare to ignore it and do exactly the opposite of what it says, if you want to meet someone, but the critic prevents you from getting close do the opposite, if the critic doesn’t say anyone is going to talk to you, go against it and take the initiative yourself to start a conversation with someone , it can be very difficult at first, because somehow you refuse a part of yourself, but if you succeed, the sense of triumph and pleasure you will experience will be second to none.
Remember that your worst enemy is not outside, but within you, if you put into practice these steps that we have just shared, little by little you will be able to control that inner voice that forces you to sabotage your best opportunities.
Image credits: Rachel Sian