We don’t say what we mean. We say yes when we mean no, we deny when we want to give your consent, maybe we mean no or it means yes; Why are we afraid to give our true opinion?
Without a doubt, we often find ourselves trapped in situations where we would not like to be from the beginning because we do not know how to say “no”, sometimes for fear of the reactions of others, sometimes by commitment.
- Reason is not what matters.
- The important thing is that we go against ourselves by disconnecting what we think and want from what we say.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do is in harmony. -Mahatma Gandhi-
Learning to say no, to refuse to do what we don’t want to do or what makes us feel bad is important for our happiness and to be consistent with ourselves.
There are several reasons why saying it is not essential
You have to learn to say no when you really agree to please others (couple, family, friends, etc. ) Avoiding addiction or living by giving pleasure to others continuously will allow us to be freer.
Our lives cannot be in the hands of other people, if we do not choose what we want to do, where we want to go, what kind of person we want by our side, we will live the lives of others, not ours.
People who love us often think they know what is best for us, but despite their good intentions, they can be guided by their fears, which are not ours.
“The soul is colored by the color of your thoughts. Just think of things that are consistent with your standards and can happen. Your character’s content is something you have to choose. Day after day what you choose, what you think and what you do is what defines who you will become. Is your integrity your destiny, is it the light that guides your way. -Heráclito-
When do we mean no? and say, we feel free, in harmony with our thought and our deepest essence.
On the other hand, when we find ourselves in a situation where we are afraid to say ‘no’, we are overwhelmed by discomfort, stress and anxiety.
It is true that sometimes we must give in, but never at the expense of our happiness, decisions that are made out of fear of other people’s reactions or out of commitment to someone can negatively affect us in the future, since we are not happy and we do not feel happy. decide for ourselves.
Assertiveness allows us to express our emotions and what we think clearly and without generating discomfort and hostility.
Assertiveness is learned through the ability to have conversations in which we express what we want, thinking about our interlocutors with empathy, but without neglecting what we really mean, it is about speaking with love, respect and firmness about what we want.
Self-esteem or self-image is a fundamental value so that we can say what we want, low self-esteem will leave us at the mercy of the opinions of others, which are not our opinions.
It is essential to learn to have opinions of your own and present yourself as people to have a full and happy life, to have the life you want.
Think of all those moments when you said what you thought and didn’t feel guilty, but free of yourself, that’s the feeling that should prevail.
Be yourself, with your flaws and virtues, but yourself. Don’t feel guilty about who you are.
Think of everything you say, okay, when you say “no. “If, for example, at work they offer you overtime and you say no, you say yes?spend time with family, enjoy the company of your friends, develop projects that you are passionate about, etc. .
“Simply questioning the possible choice creates an addiction and blurs what you can choose. What if, what’s not? It would seem that a choice cannot be dialectical, that this thought impoverishes it, makes it false, makes it something else. Ying and Yang? Yes to no, how much maybe?-July Cort-zar-
Images courtesy of Alexandra Nedzvetskaya, Cathy Delanssay.