Anger alone is neither good nor bad. What we do when we get angry is what matters, anger is a tool that helps us read and respond to disturbing social situations, but how to avoid losing control?
It is common to think that being angry is a negative thing and, often, we try to repress ourselves. But contrary to this popular belief, research indicates that anger or anger increases optimism, creativity and performance efficiency, and these studies suggest that the expression of anger can lead to more fruitful negotiations, both in personal life and at work.
- In fact.
- Suppressing anger can be detrimental to health.
- In this regard.
- Dr.
- Ernest Harburg and his team at the University of Michigan School of Public Health in the United States followed a group of adults for several decades in a study on rabies.
Researchers found that men and women who suppressed the anger they felt in response to an unfair attack were more likely to develop bronchitis and suffer heart attacks, and were also more likely to die before their peers, who let their anger increase when they felt uncomfortable. .
Anger arises because we feel called to prevent or end immediate threats to our well-being or that of our loved ones, but it is a mistake to assume that this act of kindness, compassion, love or justice is beneficial. A healthy society is not a society free of rage.
However, it is good to be careful how to express anger. Anger expression may be appropriate with some people from time to time. The question is, how do you do that without losing control?
When we want to express anger or negative emotion, one way to do that is to start with what is called a “warning of discomfort”, that is, to let others know, explicitly, that emotions feel intense because of something concrete that has happened. . It’s easy if clearly indicated.
Given the possibility that this may not be clear, it is advisable to apologize in advance, not for emotions or actions, but for the possible lack of clarity in how to convey what it means. person, to prevent him from defensively. When someone realizes that the other feels uncomfortable and the conversation is difficult, the likelihood of empathy increases.
After that, it is necessary to deepen the cause of the discomfort, what is thought and felt by what happened. Why does anger arise instead of other emotion?Anger is hard to handle, but you need to know why it appears and avoid ignoring it. In turn, it is necessary to recognize the difference between what can be changed and what is beyond the ability to control. If what happened is out of control, there is no benefit in showing anger, but if something can still be done, communicating effectively can work.
The secret to communicating anger is to find the right tone to convey what we don’t like.
Second, it is important to stop the situation. The general tendency is to act immediately, especially if the situation is very tense, to avoid unnecessary yelling or fighting, or other violent reactions, it is a good idea to give yourself a moment to think, even if we are in the middle. from a conversation or in an argument with someone.
In fact, it’s good to let the other person know that you need a moment, delaying the development of the situation. Good decisions should take precedence over quick decisions. Breathe deeply and slowly. There is a wide range of options to choose from in an emotionally charged situation.