The famous attitude of giving ice is a resource widely used by people who apparently appreciate great self-control and boast more rational than intuitive; at the same time, it corresponds not only to an expression of passive violence, but also to a mechanism of psychological abuse disguised, that is, it deeply injures the person receiving the ice.
This is called freezing this set of behaviors that aims to ignore the other. This can happen in any type of relationship: partner, friends, parents and children, parents, etc. This implies the existence of a previous conflict. However, in some situations, the victim of such behaviour ignores such a conflict, precisely because the other has not spoken openly.
- “The worst sin of our fellowmen is not to hate them.
- But to treat them with indifference.
- Is this the essence of humanity?.
Giving ice includes actions such as not talking to someone, not considering what the other person says, or pretending not to listen; stay away and avoid the company of a certain person, as if they were contaminated with something; Ignore the requests or needs expressed and perform any behavior that you intend to cancel or make someone invisible.
This type of behavior is very harmful. Not only does it show immaturity, pettiness, and lack of emotional intelligence, but it can also have serious effects on others. It is an attempt to control and abuse others and represents nothing positive in a relationship.
The person who receives the ice can experience very intense negative feelings, ignore someone is to devalue that person and even cancel them, and it also becomes stranger when everything revolves around a rough and cruel silence, which the victim cannot interpret.
Ignored people sometimes immerse themselves in feelings of sadness that can turn into depression; the person also feels anger, fear and guilt; ignoring a person is a way of pointing the finger, of accusing, but implicitly; that’s exactly what’s turning this mechanism into an unhealthy way to deal with conflict.
The victim of this type of behavior also tends to feel a lot of anxiety, you end up not knowing what you are doing wrong or why exactly it is that way, you feel that you have lost control of the situation and it causes you a lot of stress, so it is considered a form of abuse in which there are no screams or slaps , but a lot of violence.
Studies show that the feeling of being excluded or ignored involves certain changes in the brain, there is a region called ‘anterior cingulate cortex’, whose function is to detect different levels of pain in humans. verified that this area is activated when someone receives an ice cream.
The result of this is that physical symptoms also begin to appear in people who are ignored in this way, it is common for headaches and digestive problems to occur, insomnia and fatigue are also common. If the situation is very serious and ongoing, more serious problems can occur, such as increased blood pressure, diabetes and even diseases such as cancer.
The autoimmune system is also affected, mainly because of the high doses of stress caused by this situation, the consequences are more serious when the giver of an ice cream is a power figure, whether it is a teacher, a parent or a director.
Sometimes two people who feel a lot of affection for each other, such as parts of a couple, great friends, brothers, etc. , end up getting an ice cream. Some people think that by imposing this method on the other, they can change one’s behavior or make the other do what they want, they see it almost as an educational tool, but they are very wrong. Ignoring the other as a form of punishment only destroys relationships.
Like many tactics, essentially defensive and the result of insecurity, it reveals a mis management of communication. Silence is healthy when there’s a lot of excitement and you need to take a break before it gets worse what’s going on. However, when used as a means of control or punishment, it becomes abuse.
No one should be passively ignored by another person, not without at least receiving an explanation for this behavior. Similarly, no one should attempt to resolve a conflict by giving an ice cream to someone else. When there is a problem between two humans, the only healthy alternative is to try a way to talk to find solutions. Silence and distance only generate more errors and, in the end, resolve nothing.