When we talk about communication we mean all these actions to send a message to other people and make sure that they receive them correctly, that is, it seems so simple that it may seem absurd to write an article on the subject. but the reality is that communicating is harder than you think. Good communication requires certain skills and, above all, a lot of practice.
In fact, most of the interpersonal conflicts that arise are rooted in a lack of communication, so it is essential to learn to develop that capacity if we want to have better and better social relationships.
- Learning to communicate is no easy task.
- In school you learn a lot.
- But you don’t learn to communicate effectively with each other and that causes a lot of problems.
Sometimes we are very visceral, act automatically and fail in relationships with others. How many times have we regretted saying something unpleasant to someone we love?
Experts say there are two main theories for which our communication is inadequate: deficit theory and motivation theory.
According to the deficit theory, we are ignorant: do we not know, how and what, we have to do to have good relations with others, as we have said before we have been taught to read, write and solve problems, but not one has taught us to communicate effectively or solve problems that arise from this inefficiency.
On the other hand, the theory of motivation says that it lacks motivation to approach the people we find in our way.
But, if we think about it a little more, we can add the “requirement” theory. Of course, when we fight or don’t like someone, it’s because we want the person to be who we want to be, not who they are. they really are, as a strategy to change someone, we argue, we shout, hostile and we manifest all the behaviors we despise in them.
Therefore, the first and most important step is to realize the reality that people will not change because we want them to change and we have no right to demand that anyone be the way we want them to be.
You have to ask yourself: who needs to change? In fact, it’s not the other, but oneself. All the changes we want in our lives begin with our will to change, our actions, even if it gives the impression that we will break the ego into a thousand pieces. Sometimes it’s very difficult, but we’re the only ones who have control over ourselves.
Remember, you can’t control yourself and change. If you get angry and try to force change, it’ll be defensive. Change has to start with you: when you change, the other person starts doing different things and also changes.
You need to look inwards and see if the way we conduct our communication skills helps or aggravates problems and, if necessary, alters them. A good strategy is to write in a journal how you behave in social situations and analyze whether your behavior is effective or not and whether you need to change.
Communicating effectively has a trick, a strategy. But it’s not magic, you have to work hard and work hard to change, no change happens overnight. Below are some effective communication techniques that will help you improve your relationship with others by discussing less and stress-free.