Why do I always end up repeating the same patterns?Perhaps, unconsciously, I make one of people’s most repeated mistakes: the mistake of trying to seek happiness more than once in the same place where it was lost.
It’s not like happiness resists. It’s just that he rarely returns to the crime scene, but instead of seeing this and daring to look for him in a different environment and situation, we’re taking the same steps to try the same thing for the tenth time.
- However.
- It is normal to keep disappointing and encounter very similar situations.
- Which make us think about the bad luck we have.
- But this is not bad luck.
- It is blindness.
- A blindness that prevents us from taking new paths.
- As we insist on returning to places for tragic but well-known purposes.
There are couples who separate several times and return to their relationships, the relationships whose members insist on what does not work are called intermittent relationships, situation similar to that of a repeated blow head against the wall.
Fear of change. We have a great fear of leaving our comfort zones and also an almost obsessive tendency to create them, when we feel comfortable with a situation, we stop there, and then it can become uncomfortable or disappointing again to endure what is needed. so as not to leave our comfort zone.
However, as for happiness, staying in this comfort zone avoids finding the sense of well-being and balance that almost everyone seeks, especially since we will return to a place where happiness comes out the front door.
It makes us realize that all these places of apparent safety are full of violence, abuse, disrespect and very painful situations that bring us closer to suffering, but not to our longed-for happiness, however, we continue to make the same mistake and return to the same place as we leave.
Reliving the same situation over and over again is painful and makes us feel victims, however, this is all a free decision that we make ourselves, so we can change when we are aware of it.
In some situations, it is because we have become accustomed to a way of life, perhaps to endure, to tolerate, not to set limits, to get carried away by expectations ?, all this makes us fall again and again into the same trap. out of this dynamic? Opening his eyes and getting to the bottom to gain momentum.
With the comfort zone and established customs, there is something else that makes us seek happiness where we have lost it, it is the inability to let go and let go what hurts us so much, but to which we cling unconsciously.
Is it the fear of loneliness?Are you afraid of missing the moment? These beliefs certainly work negatively, causing us not to let go of anything that doesn’t make us happy. What happens when we try to leave it behind? Anxiety takes hold of us.
It seems that “the drug is worse than the disease”, however this feeling will not last long and the results will show that it will be worth going through the wrong time to break the chains of this weight, in the form of a burden, that we have been carrying for so long. .
The funny thing is that in our hearts we tend to seek happiness on roads already traveled because we know its curves and traps, because at first everything was fine, we were happy, but just when everything crumbles, we looked at our excited past. by the wind of nostalgia.
“Happiness is also what you let go for your own good. -Coco Chanel-
So some people try to go back to the place where everything went wrong, however, many times it is not enough for us to return, the circumstances and the people around us would also have to do so, which is certainly much more difficult. It’s hard for happiness to be re-born where it’s been lost.
The big question is: is it worth it? We have little time that we waste ignoring the signs and our pain, when something does not work, we have to try other alternatives or at least rethly what we know for sure that will not have a happy ending. happiness or are we just avoiding taking risks?
Images courtesy of Christian Schloe.