A while ago, an acquaintance told me about the situation his marriage was in, after two separations and some comebacks, is it over?She was sad, but at the same time happy and relieved. Happy to be able to take care él. su own life and have had the courage to seek the joy and independence I dreamed of, even if I was not so young; relieved to continue to believe that she might be happier, even if she is alone; I was saddened to learn that the ex-husband, for whom he feels immense affection, would not be part of his daily and constant life.
She told me: “Valéria, he is very different from me. Only today do I see the big difference between us. We have few affinities and over the years the points where we differ have become more apparent. Is she a great father, a great provider, good people, a great family? but it no longer works. He’s very focused on his business and doesn’t care about my family or friends. Do you think that only we [she and her three children] and her family are enough? So I said, “Actually, I think it’s always been that way. You are the one who has not seen or the one who has not noticed. If you look closely, you will find that your life with him is exactly what he describes me. It has not changed, it has always been like that and it is the same. You are the one who has changed and wants something more. Before, what you had was enough, but this life no longer satisfies you. This is bad? No way! In the same way that it is not. If that is how you see life and are satisfied with it, what is the problem? It may be boring for you, but not for him.
- I have always been a follower.
- With a certificate.
- Entitled to an automatic re-registration every year.
- Based on this famous saying: “the troubled people who leave”.
- I think it has to be.
- We don’t have to impose our presence.
- Our wills.
- Our desires on others.
- Or get down our throats.
- If the other does not want to change.
- He is happy and satisfied with his way of life.
- Let him live as he sees fit.
- Life is his.
- I don’t know who this speech belongs to.
- But I think it’s true: “If the other person doesn’t change.
- Change yourself or change your perception of it.
- “.
It is in conversations like this that we notice how distant some couples become throughout the relationship and we do not realize, I think many even realize, but prefer to pretend that no, because ignoring it is less work, if there is still no love, respect and loyalty, distance, which was previously calculated in meters, is now measured in kilometers; interests diverge, and affinities that had never been dazzled became obstacles to living in harmony. oneself and the other is not – or at least not in the same sense and in the same proportion – coexistence is not sustainable and silences and distances increase. You both don’t walk the same path, don’t you share the same dreams or the same association?They become old strangers who share the same roof.
Regardless of the difficulties we face in the relationship, in life, it continues and continues its course no matter what happens in our inner or outer world, the winds change direction, just like us. When something doesn’t make us happy, it doesn’t do us any good, it seems that life forces us to change; and then we make up, we reinvent ourselves, we raise our heads and we go on?It may take a while, but can we manage and eliminate what overloads us, hurts us, hurts us?
Life is always generous to us when we look in the right direction, and always offers us a renewal and a range of new possibilities if we are attentive. Do new dreams, desires, and perspectives also emerge as we chart other paths and determine new goals, acquire new points of view?I always feel that every day is a new excursion for life, even if we are physically the same passengers and/or maintain the same means of transport. Each new morning allows us to transform and take different attitudes.
That’s why I usually say: what really matters are the sincere bonds of affection that we establish in our way, in our lives, the rest is transient. We must talk, empty and exhaust all possibilities even if there is nothing left and, little by little, discard what does not help us, which annoys us and degrades us, in doing so we become lighter, we get the peace to move forward.