Heroes or victims: two tactics to deal with non-public crises

To face personal crises you can choose to do nothing and be like a leaf dragged by the current or, on the contrary, be that stone that, after touching bottom, takes advantage of the force of the river to return to the surface, bright and beautiful. It’s clear that no one gets out of these trips unscathed, but we’ll be the heroes of our own stories.

When we talk about personal crises there is something that is almost always present: a loss, sometimes we go through crossroads where we are forced to assume that there is an aspect of our life that must be left behind, and that we are not the same as yesterday, in other times we lose something or someone or unforeseen events happen that force us to assume changes, to start struggles and invest personal resources so as not to lose everything, so as not to get carried away by these unfair blows of destiny. .

  • All this leads us to conclude on an almost obvious fact: in the face of adversity we have two choices.
  • Shut up or move on.
  • Eternally fall victim to our own situation or rise up as deserving of new opportunities.
  • He said.
  • However.
  • That it is not easy: no one has ever taught us to be heroes.
  • Nor what kind of strategies must we apply to overcome these obstacles that often put us in a situation of helplessness?.

Losing our jobs, facing a separation, seeing in the mirror that we are no longer as young as we used to be, discovering that the people we care about don’t pay the same way, are all these events normal in our life cycles?However common, we will never get used to these circumstances.

The reason is due to a very specific fact: happiness is balance, a sense of security and everything is under our control, so any change, even if it is small, is interpreted as a threat, an unforeseen event to which we are not sure how to react.

Recognizing our lack of protection is actually a good starting point. Being perplexed after the avalanche of disappointment, loss or deception inevitably forces us to shut up to think. In fact, the word itself?Crisis?comes from the Greek ‘Krisis’, and that means ‘I decide’, ‘I judge’ or ‘I’m separating’. It is a direct invitation to become aware and add a clear personal responsibility to our situation to decide what to do.

On the other hand, psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Larry Calhoun explain it in their book?The post-traumatic growth manual? (Post-Traumatic Growth Manual) that when we take a step in dealing with our personal crises, we begin to talk about a new type of language.

Almost not knowing how, we discovered that we have new talents, that we are stronger than we initially thought, and that in this fight for survival we became anonymous heroes. What initially seemed like an almost intolerable, if not impossible, difficulty becomes a life. learning experience.

There are many types of crises: developmental crises associated with different stages of our lives, situational crises such as those related to accidents and natural disasters, existential crises related to our goals or values. They all have two things in common: they affect our mood and behavior.

It is estimated that about 80% of human beings suffer one or more personal seizures at any given time, so we will be, in greater or lesser numbers, victims of fate, circumstances or events that even we ourselves cause. all the resources to deal with personal crises, to move from this state of fragility and emotional instability to that point, where we can glimpse new alternatives with which we will regain the reins, balance and reach a new cycle of maturity.

Gilbert Ross, a philosopher specializing in personal growth, tells us that any adversity is, in a way, a form of natural selection, only those who take on the challenge can change skin, build their self-esteem, overcome their fears and adopt a flexible attitude to move forward.

Crises, whether we like it or not, are becoming more frequent in our society. We live in a time of constant change and uncertainty; what is now true, tomorrow may not be, what defines us now can be lost tomorrow?Preparing for change is an invaluable psychological resource, an engine of strength that will allow us to survive knowing that behind each crisis there is an opportunity.

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