Most parents want their children to be happy, find their own way and thrive in life, but this doesn’t always happen. Sometimes the parent or both have to take care of a child who feels they have failed because they have not met expectations, whether they themselves or others. This feeling of failure usually begins very early, so parents may feel confused.
A child who feels he has failed provokes several reactions in his parents, in almost all cases feelings of anguish and guilt arise, resulting in behaviors ranging from denial of the problem to major changes in the family.
- When the situation is handled correctly and on time.
- It is usually a great opportunity to adjust what does not work; otherwise.
- It could lead to even more serious problems.
In addition, the fact that parents often do not detect this feeling of failure, so in the absence of identification the intervention is not performed, in other cases the parents are aware of the feeling of failure long after it begins to contaminate their child, so the intervention becomes even more complicated.
“All parents should remember that their children will follow suit instead of their counsel. “Charles Kettering
Sometimes it is relatively simple to realize that a child feels a loser, speaks verbally, or asks for help because he or she is blocked at some point and cannot progress, however, sometimes this sense of failure goes unnoticed or parents refuse to recognize him.
Thus, it is common for the feeling of defeat to manifest in an indirect way: through conflicting relationships with others, indiscipline or unusual behavior.
A child who, for example, only wants to watch television, can feel trapped, with a very strong feeling of anguish, because he feels that he cannot do what is proposed to him; on the other hand, it should be remembered that children tend to express their feelings. sadness or unease by anger.
Sometimes, an unsuccessful child grows up in a house where that feeling already exists, so he just needs to internalize it. To some extent, your parents or guardians may feel it, too. This is exactly one of the reasons why the nearest adult can deny the problem: recognizing it and thinking about its causes and consequences can end up being an exercise in introspection and self-analysis that, although in most cases, produces positive results, will also be difficult.
In fact, failure is not a state, but an attitude, failure occurs when a person feels defeated and believes that there is no point in doing anything, it is not an attitude that is born with the human being, it is something that is learned from the experiences lived and the styles of creation received.
It is normal for a child to feel defeated, because his immaturity can prevent him from objectively observing his mistakes. The problem arises when it becomes a normal condition.
If the child is unsuccessful, there is a high probability that something will be missing from his education. In particular, the child may not receive enough emotional stimuli or may not be adequately monitored. As a result, he distrusts what he sea. es able to do and is unable to face and overcome any mistakes he may make.
A child with academic or behavioral problems at school may need help without punishment. Your difficulties can be a sign of weakness or confusion. In this case, and in many others, understanding, focus and support are needed.
This problem is not solved by taking the child to the psychologist to “fix” him, although this can help. The child cries out of attention, control and love. An important part of this situation should be dealt with directly by parents; for this role, they cannot be replaced.
Before taking the child to a health care professional, making him believe he or she is a troubled child, parents should be advised to undergo therapy. It is important for parents to evaluate their successes and failures in their children’s educational process.
It is also important that they are enriched with ideas on how best to address the situation, if the difficulty is detected early and assumed responsiblely, the chances of the problem being resolved quickly and without leaving marks that tarnish the child’s growth are greater.