Few fears are as widespread and shared as the fear of decision-making, deciding is a task in which we are supposed to be experts: we decide every day and every moment, however, sometimes we feel stagnant and do not know what option to take. Choose.
The inability to make a decision can be experienced by people from different cultures, professions, educational levels or socio-economic norms. We live in a society full of information and knowledge, which makes us available and allows a wide variety of options for (almost) everything.
- On the other hand.
- One might think.
- Immediately.
- That having different sources of information and options could make decision-making easier.
- However.
- It is often the fact that we have so many options that make it difficult to decide and leads us to block.
One of the most common causes of this blockade, if not the main one, in decision-making is an emotion: the fear of deciding, we can feel blocked, for example, by doubt whether or not to continue the sentimental relationship, change occupation or work, have children, choose a trade, etc.
In the face of important situations in our lives or decisions that are not reversible, the fear of deciding can be very powerful. This can lead us to postpone the decision, with the incubation of the discomfort that this entails. I mean, if I don’t know what to do or which way to go, I leave the decision for later. We can do this in the hope that new information will emerge that gives us security or that the passage of time will seal some of the options that block us the most. As we see, the fear of deciding greatly influences our lives.
Fear of decision-making can take different forms, which in turn trigger different problems or symptoms of emotional discomfort.
We can say that this fear is the most common, the more important the decision, the greater the fear of being wrong, we are talking about a fear that has a very important adaptive function: acting cautiously and protecting and protecting others. We noticed a big cliff and decided.
The fear of making mistakes is a kind of fear related to the responsibility we have of a choice, this makes us think and analyze possible options before making a decision, it is a very present fear in situations that involve a difficult or impossible change to reverse. and the consequences of which will be significant.
Some people may also feel a strong fear of speaking in low- or medium-important reversible situations, and even reach a high level of anxiety. They are usually very rational people who follow the instructions of their intuition only in very rare cases.
Being afraid of not choosing the right path can make us powerless, which can lead to sustained indecision, prolonged reaction times, and a thorough search for external information about the best decision to make.
One of the main consequences of the fear of wrong is the search for information or a definitive conclusion, that is, we live the false belief that, in thinking, we will come to a certain conclusion that will end the risk of walking in the ball.
An intense fear of making mistakes can cause what in psychology is called pathological doubt. Pathological doubt is characterized by an obsessive search for absolute certainty, which is reinforced by a mental compulsion expressed through constant thought of doubt.
In this case, we mean situations in which the person knows what decision they want to make, but does not know if they will be able to deal with the effects or consequences of that decision, for example, a person who has to decide whether or not to make a presentation at a conference may end up rejecting the invitation for fear of not living up to the other presenters , the expectations of others or their own.
Fear of not living up to the task can lead us to avoid responsibility roles, focus on minor decision-making, and delegate the most relevant or important decisions to others. The problems caused by this fear are often related to a feeling of low self-esteem or low self-esteem.
In addition, the fear of not living up to the task can lead us to miss opportunities because we feel that we are not prepared enough for the demands of the situation. We are talking about a fear that keeps us in our comfort zone and limits our personal growth. Therefore, an effective way to overcome the fear of not living up to it is to work to improve self-esteem.
This fear occurs in people with high need for control, if a person in high need of control realizes that everything involved in the decision is not under his control, the decision-making process is paralyzed, for example, many people end up rejecting work involving group projects for this reason.
Managing the need to control everything or interacting with a control fanatic can be a pretty stressful challenge as it’s a very powerful need. In extreme cases, the need for control is perceived in people with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
Fear of not having control in your hand or losing it can be observed both during the decision-making process and in the face of consequences. The effects of this fear during the decision-making process are usually:
You can also see the fear of losing control when the decision implies a change in the person’s ability to control, that is, we control decision-making, but the option we want to choose involves giving up some of our own control. The proposal not to control the results of certain events can be a good way to start losing that fear.
Feeling loved, respected and accepted is one of the basic needs of a human being, fear of social rejection is very common in situations where a decision has to be made and all possible options are, in a way, harmful.
We refer to situations in which the choice of an option inevitably leads to neglecting some of our own or other needs, for example situations in which we are able to arbitrate a confrontation and have to make a decision for or against one of the parties involved.
Fear of social rejection creates different problems, such as decision-making based on the approval of others and not on personal needs. Instead of choosing what would make us happier or more beneficial, when we are afraid of social rejection, we chose what others would do. like it or what projects a better picture of ourselves.
To address the fear of social rejection, it is possible to use third-generation therapy techniques, such as acceptance and commitment therapy, that guide the person to accept certain aspects of their life and thoughts that cannot change and help them make decisions. based on their personal values and needs.
Remember that decision-making is a task that you cannot give up or delegate to, they are your bar and those who will decide your future and hold you responsible, in case any of the fears we have described paralyze you you can always consult a professional for help.