How can I accept my flaws? If someone asks us what we don’t really like about us, many wouldn’t know how to respond. I’ve got a lot of them! You could say. Others, on the other hand, with arrogance and overdose of pride, would claim that they do not have one, that they accept the and love each other as they are.
Would you probably lie because we do a lot of people? That bothers us, something that we hide and hide, sometimes under the clothes and sometimes trying to camouflage the shyness, insecurity, fear or any psychological characteristic that we have not yet been able to reinforce.
- What most striking about these realities.
- However.
- Is that we often refer to them as a “defect”.
- A personal trait that.
- In itself.
- Should not be considered an alteration.
- Error.
- Anomaly or nuance to be rejected.
- This prominent nose is not a defect.
- It is a normal trait.
- Those extra kilos.
- That freckled face.
- That small size or that nascent baldness should never be considered defects.
What lies behind these negative self-assessments is a problem of insecurity and self-ception, on the other hand, real defects are rarely visible. Irresponsibility, laziness, selfishness and pride are aspects that require a sensitivity formed to make changes, to be improved, let us go a little further.
We all have several flaws and, in turn, a number of virtues. Our greatness as human beings often lies in the combination of all those contrasting nuances that make us imperfect and, at the same time, unique. Our defect may be in a bad mood, but over time we end up dealing with it, being aware of this stronger/less patient personality.
It is also possible that another of our flaws is over-speaking; To be one of those people who, in conversation, barely leave space and voice to others. Again, simply recognizing and assuming the defect also allows us to manage that singular nuance that defines us and sometimes poses another problem.
Accepting defects implies first of all a fundamental aspect: whether we like ourselves is a defect or not. Let’s take a look.
A very common custom is to pathologize aspects that really constitute our personality or body pattern, so facts as common as being a little shyer than normal, more uncertain, scary, paranoid or even impatient, are not failures, they are simply traits to shape our personality.
The same goes for the nuances that define our physical appearance. Neither weight, size, nor skin changes, let alone deficiencies constitute “defects”. The next question must then be: what is considered a defect?
These areas describe negative attitudes that can harm us and others, such as envy, jealousy, pride, pessimism, intolerance, narcissism, etc. As you can see, these dimensions describe behaviors and attitudes in which a balance is established between virtues and defects. Rarely achieved. They always tend to destabilize any situation, conversation, relationship or circumstance.
To accept my flaws, those that are not really, but which remain the clear fruit of my insecurity, the most important thing is to work on self-ception, so if I consider my excess weight as a defect, which is also annoying, as in addition to my tendency to stutter or hide large ears under my hair, my most immediate obligation is to strengthen this area of personal growth.
In addition, self-ception is more powerful than self-esteem. The motive? Not only does it depend on my positive view of myself, what others tell me or what I think they think of me also fuels this psychological muscle, on the other hand, self-ceptation does not need external reinforcement.
In addition, Albert Ellis, creator of rational behavioral emotional therapy, has established this dimension as a cornerstone of his approach, defining it as follows: self-acceptance means learning to love us fully and unconditionally, accepting all that we are. To validate all aspects of our being and also of our behavior is to know how to give us consideration, respect and love.
If we learn to strengthen this area of our being, all the dimensions we consider flaws will be diluted.
Aggressive communication, impatience, jealousy, inability to understand the point of view of others?To accept my most harmful flaws, those that hinder my relationships and my life with others, the most important thing is to know how to detect these dimensions.
On average, few combine this humility of character capable of seeing and assuming those clearly negative qualities that constitute real flaws. Once identified, the process is not just about “accepting” them, giving them space and permanence; the key is to ‘transform’ them.
In many cases, this transformation exercise requires knowing what is behind each of these defects. So, behind envy or jealousy, there is usually low self-esteem. Behind aggressive communication is emotional mismanagement and a lack of social skills. Therefore, the best medicine to model faults and turn them into virtues forces us, in most cases, to resort to psychological therapy. It can change our lives. Let’s keep this in mind.