Improving self-esteem is one of the pillars of many therapeutic interventions, one of the elements that are part of the foundation on which we build the rest of the process.
High self-esteem strengthens our immune-emotional system and supports our resilience is our support. Having understood its importance, the question now is: how can we improve self-esteem?
- Achieving high self-esteem.
- As well as facing other psychological challenges.
- Requires the implementation of various tools/strategies.
- Since the loss of our self-esteem can be rooted in different factors.
- One of the most important is the attribution system with which we work and the degree of influence that we believe we have on what happens to us.
“Having low self-esteem is like driving through life with the handbrake. “Maxwell Maltz.
Generally, when there is a lack of self-esteem, we consider that what happens to us is a consequence of our own internal factors and that we cannot change them, that is, we attribute ourselves to the cause of this “unhappiness”.
For example, what does a person with low self-esteem think when they go through a separation?The most common thing in these circumstances is that he believes the relationship ended because of him.
Will negative thoughts like this arise? Am I not good enough for him / her? Or “Don’t I deserve it?”, “I am responsible for the end of everything. ” The reality is that when a relationship ends, responsibility is often shared. It does not usually belong to only one of its members, even if one or both feel that way.
So, when there’s separation, it’s normal for thoughts of guilt to arise, if you have high self-esteem you’ll lighten that weight and avoid sinking, that is, we’ll be more realistic with the causal powers we’re going to do. do in this regard. The same is true in other areas of our lives. People tend to make stable internal assignments about what happens to them.
But not only that; People with low self-esteem also often do external missions when something good happens to them, that is, they believe that when they are promoted to work, for example, it is because their boss is a good person, but not because of his merits as employees. What’s wrong with that? In doing so, it is impossible for them to feel good when rewarded.
“As long as you don’t like each other, you won’t enjoy your time. As long as you don’t enjoy your time, won’t you do anything about it? – Mr. Scott Peck-“
Now, what can we do to change our causal attribution and thus improve self-esteem ?, we must take a step back and look at the situation from a new perspective, in this way we can make a general assessment based on reality, not simply based on failures or problems.
The same is true when we compare our lives with that of others on social media, it is not necessary for this causal attribution to become too optimistic, because then the clash with reality will be worse.
Therefore, we must ask ourselves the extent to which we influence what happens to us (for better or worse) and what other factors have interfered with a given outcome, so we have to learn to attribute what happens to us when the merit was ours, in this way we can learn to improve self-esteem.
We must also assess whether the damage should be attributed to causes related to ourselves or not, we must stop blaming ourselves for facts in which our influence was minimal or no.
Moreover, if we have much of the responsibility, the solution is not to punish ourselves, but to analyze the error and learn from it, in this way it will be more difficult to repeat the same mistakes in the future and hurt us. -estimate.
“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy, be sure to love yourself enough to give you a space in your life. “-Jean Shinoda Bolen
Following this line you will continue to evolve and improve, in this sense being able to analyze yourself realistically will help you get a good idea of your strengths and weaknesses, this will increase your self-esteem and facilitate your empowerment, since you can choose your goals in the right way.
Images courtesy of Camila Cordeiro and Annie Spratt.