Holidays affect relationships in a way, as we go from sharing a few hours a day and weekends to being together 24 hours a day, holidays are a period that requires adaptation, which will be a success or failure, depending on the characteristics of the relationship and the psychological flexibility of each member.
Next, we’ll explain why the relationship is affected by the holidays, what are the main conflicts couples face at this time of year, and how you can improve your relationship by following three simple ideas.
- Yes.
- The answer to that question is positive.
- The romantic relationship has characteristics that differentiate it from other interpersonal relationships.
- Such as family.
- Friendly or professional relationships.
- Unlike our relationships with family members.
- Which we hear in most cases as unconditional relationships (whatever happens.
- It is our family).
- The relationship is conditional (depending on how it goes.
- We will continue together or not).
For these reasons, it is very common to have more patience with family members than with your partner, because, even unconsciously, we always take into account that we choose our partner, when the family is the one we have and we cannot choose. In general, people have more tolerance for direct and nuclear relatives (mother, father, siblings, cousins, etc. ) than towards their partners, with whom we tend to be more demanding.
Holidays cause very important changes in our routine, for most of the year we are stuck in schedules, routines, chores (children, work) and the couple is in the background, so you work more as a team than as a couple in romantic terms.
With the arrival of the holidays, the couple comes to the fore, because it is a time when there is more free time to be together, when they go to the foreground and devote more attention and time, there are a series of frictions that, if not treated properly, end up causing conflicts or problems.
Here are some possible issues that show how vacations affect relationships:
This problem arises when, accustomed to being in ‘our environment’, or rather busy with us and our obligations, we are ‘forced’ to give some of our time and our own space and give it to our partner. that is, if you spend little time with your partner all year round because you take care of your work, your social life, your children?If you have one, during the holidays, you find you in the situation of spending a lot of time with your partner and you may not be used to it.
Although people spend a lot of time together and work well throughout the year, they have different and unique interests and customs. Throughout the year, you can meet your needs on an individual level, but on vacation, when you spend more time with your partner, it is also necessary to attend to their interests and needs. It can be a little annoying, as expected. But do we have to know how to manage ourselves properly so as not to see our partner as a person who annoys us?Why don’t you let us do the things we “always do”?
“Love begins when one person feels that the needs of the other are as important as their own. -Harry S. Sullivan-
There are couples who get irritated because they feel they are not enjoying their vacation, stay home, go to another city to see the family or even make a trip that does not end up being a good experience. The conflict arises when both members of the couple expect the other to plan the holiday period or take the initiative and offer activities, visits or departures.
Could it be a couple in which we have assumed the role of who, proposes and directs?And the other’s role of “doing and not suggesting. “It is possible that one of the members of the couple may not be able to offer leisure activities on vacation and therefore the other Conflict arises when the proponent and management is tired of being the one who does everything possible and then the responsibility to enjoy the holiday time lies with a person who does not know how to do it because, basically , he never has.
Thus, the two members of the couple assign each other the responsibility to enjoy the holidays and, since no one assumes the situation (each for their own personal reasons), the party becomes a moment of criticism in relation to what is being done and what is being done. The time comes when we criticized the other because we didn’t go to a certain place or because he didn’t say, he didn’t propose, because despite the activity or walk that was suggested, no one took the first step.
Is it normal to see in our partner attitudes and behaviors that we like and others that we do not like, it is also normal to have certain expectations about what the other person should look like and the more time we spend with a person, is normal normal for these defects?that we observe annoys us. So when we spend more time together, we feel that what bothers us becomes even more irritating, in this way, rather than developing tolerance, what increases is our sensitivity.
For example, if you’re not comfortable with your partner being slow or slow in the morning, when it happens on vacation, you’ll feel a major upset, as this custom can cause you to spend the morning doing nothing, arriving late for places where you wanted to visit or feel that your partner is delaying you and can’t enjoy your vacation.
At this point a conflict arises when the characteristics that we do not like are more appreciated than the ones we like, in addition, people become more demanding with others on vacation because it is a period that we wait all year round, in which to invest money and time. For these reasons, on vacation, we have a margin of tolerance for closer frustration, we want everything to be perfect and we endure fewer setbacks than other times we would accept without bothering too much.
No, it’s certainly not inevitable. It is true that holidays affect relationships and test many couples, however, if the relationship is healthy and strong, everything will go well, so there may be disputes during the holidays to spend more time together, but there is no reason for a partner crisis.
The best way not to have a Christmas crisis is to work on a personal level to have a good relationship, for this we explain below a series of practical ideas to improve and develop your relationship.
It is very important that the five senses are always ready to detect what you love most about your partner, human beings have an important tendency to absorb and value more the negative than the positive, we must actively fight against this trend in order to develop the bond that joins our partner.
“Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. -Alfred Adler-
In addition, it is vitally important to let the other person know the details you like most about her, it is very comforting to be considered good at this or that or to be told that we are attractive, these things increase our positive energy, which brings us a reflection of our best angles.
Communication is the key to successfully articulating differences with your partner, in addition, it is a vehicle that allows us to establish powerful and closely linked relationships, so that communication is effective must be done through active listening, empathy and eye contact. Let the other one know you have all your senses.
Being on vacation doesn’t necessarily mean spending all the time together, it’s very healthy and beneficial for the couple to have both moments when everyone can be alone, knowing how to be with oneself is the best recipe for gaining safety and self-confidence. and project everything into your relationship. Give yourself a moment of intimacy and loneliness that will help you connect with your individual emotions and needs.
Finally, remember that the relationship is part of your life that you must maintain and cultivate throughout the year, the holidays will test your relationship, but if the relationship is strong and the forces are superior to the negative ones, a discussion will not necessarily mean that your partner is wrong or wrong or will lead in the end.