Contrary to what one might think, it is not always easy to know if the period of mourning has been overcome, this psychological reaction to loss can still be unfinished and act like an infected wound, like a hidden wound that fills our life with conditioning and limitations, so it is necessary to recognize the pending and unresolved signs of grief.
We understand by bereavement any vital fact that involves the separation of something or someone important to us, can be the loss of a loved one, a sentimental breakdown, the loss of a job or even the abandonment of a certain role with which we are identified and that made us feel realized, such a fact presupposes first and foremosm the sudden disappearance of a bond and the extinction of a type of emotional reality that we are obliged to reconstruct.
- So.
- Faced with the question of how best to deal with grief.
- We can say that there is no one-sided strategy.
- Each person reacts differently and that is certainly the greatest difficulty that exists.
- So we cannot recommend a number of “regulatory” adaptation techniques.
- It can serve us all.
- Because there is nothing more private.
- Confusing or chaotic than the pain of a loss.
However, there is one thing we cannot overlook: the resilience of the human being is immense, although we will never be able to completely heal the vacuum of this loss, we will be able to live with it, we can even afford to be happy again, but it is necessary to have effectively faced and overcome our personal pain.
As curious as it may seem, there is a private and almost invisible duel in our society, which are sometimes misseen during grief when the suffering person is not always recognized, an example of which would be the mothers who lost their babies during pregnancy. Traumatic event in which undoubtedly many women need specialized support that is often lacking in hospitals.
Similarly, children are also part of this collective that is not always understood, many children who live their pain in silence in an environment that still thinks that they do not yet understand what death is because of their age. It should be noted that men are also usually part of these duels that are misseen for a very specific reason.
In many countries, the figure of man continues to play a rational and protective role, in which he is expected not to openly express his emotional pain, a design that often hinders reconstruction after a loss, to the point of creating chronic states of helplessness that need to be identified and, of course, treated.
So let’s see what symptoms can be highlighted by not exceeding the grieving period.
In every process of mourning, a decisive moment must come, when we finally open up. That’s when we need to talk to someone about the lost relationship, that person or the complex situation we’ve left behind, talk, express, remember, bring certain memories to the present relieves and comforts, and also promotes emotional explosion.
If several months and years have passed and we are still unable to talk about this person, the pain is not yet overcome, if we perceive a wall, a ball in the throat and resist returning this fact or this significant figure to memory, we should call a professional.
The person can lead a seemingly normal life. However, sudden emotional reactions may appear in your daily life that no one can understand, sometimes an object, a particular song, a specific situation, etc. , acts as a trigger for a memory.
Unresolved pain from loss suddenly appears when the door of the past is opened, where the void of loss remains an open wound.
Another obvious fact that we have not overcome the mourning period is the constant need to make changes, there are those who cannot keep the same work for two consecutive months, exchange friendships, associations and even interests, nothing satisfies or relieves and everything ends up being boring. The constant search for new things to help us forget is almost constant.
There are patients with obvious symptoms of not having overcome the period of mourning that show moments of euphoria and moments of isolation and great apathy, ranging from the need to be surrounded by people and the moments when they seek loneliness and personal recognition. obvious signs of masked bereavement that completely reduce a person’s quality of life.
It should also be noted that in many of these cases it is common to diagnose subclynic depression, a disorder in which clinical criteria for major depression, minor depression or dysthymia are not met, but emotional distress is very important. Obvious.
We have seen all these symptoms, more or less camouflaged, that would indicate that our loss is still very present, either to condition our lives, limit it and leave us stuck in a state of chronic suffering. As we have seen, many of these symptoms end up shaping psychological disorders that further reduce our chances of moving forward, allowing us to be happy again.
We need to understand that we have to give our brain time to adapt to a reality that has changed abruptly and unfairly, and that is why, in this transition period that can last months and years, our environment, our attitude and also good professionals. will be of great help, so that we can work with them on these outstanding and particular issues of all suffering.
Thus, some of the evidence supporting the hypothesis that we have overcome the bereavement period is:
The happiness we allow ourselves to live today can be a beautiful tribute to those people we have left behind, but who live safely in our hearts.