Fighting our negative thoughts draws our attention to them, it gives them importance. What if the origin or maintenance of our problems and pains were related to this?We propose another solution: the metaphor of the bus.
We are often assaulted by negative thoughts such as, “Shouldn’t I have bought a flat with such high funding?”, “I wasted my time studying something that won’t do me any good,” more understanding and less demand?Or do I feel bad after I said that last night?Fighting negative thoughts and valuing them is like showing them, as we feed them, increase our discomfort and anxiety, that is, we allow them to grow in our hearts. If someone leaves their partner, they may start to think they won’t find anyone like him, and they’ll stop leaving, or just look for adventures, perhaps to dispel loneliness. Even if we think that a test is complex and that we will not pass, or that a job interview is difficult, we will create excuses to avoid these problems, and so we will feel comfortable. It is curious that something particularly serious does not need to happen, that we start thinking about what happened, and that dialogue with negative thoughts becomes a way of life, affecting people. decisions we have to make.
- Faced with negative thinking.
- We can continue to dialogue with him.
- As we have already mentioned.
- Try to rationalize it and turn it into a positive thought.
- Manifesting what we really want.
- Or setting it aside.
- Without trying to control it.
- Paying attention to what we have committed to do.
- Each will decide what is best for himself.
- However.
- Never forget to choose decisions that provide more well-being and evolution.
- Compared to the three options.
- The latter two are the ones that benefit us the most.
- Because they guide us towards what we want.
- However.
- In the first case we will change our negative language.
- Changing it to a more positive language and in the second case we will leave it out.
- What we present we will talk about the metaphor of the bus and passengers.
- Which will allow us to observe how our negative thoughts or emotions can take control.
- Taking us out of the path of our plans.
- Our paths.
- And immobilizing us.
Imagine that you are the bus driver, carrying many passengers, these are the thoughts, feelings, memories and all those things that we have in life, the bus has a single gateway and only it, some passengers are extremely rude and seem dangerous In the meantime, you drive the bus, and some passengers begin to threaten, say what to do, where to go , turn right, now accelerate, etc. , even insult you, discourage you, tell you that you are a terrible driver, a failure, that no one appreciates. You feel bad and you do what they tell you to do, shut up, get off the bus, but you can’t and argue, face it. Without realizing it, the first thing he did, was stop driving and now he’s not going anywhere. Also, the passengers are very strong, they resist and you can’t get them off the bus. Resigned, you go back to your seat, you drive and you take them wherever they want, to calm them down.
That way, so you don’t get disturbed and don’t feel bad, you start obeying them and driving the bus along the roads that tell you, thinking that so you won’t have to argue with them or see them. . You do as you’re told and you keep thinking about expelling them from your life. So, almost without realizing it, they don’t even have to issue their orders, “turn left” because you will to prevent passengers from threatening. So it won’t take long for you to start justifying your decisions to almost believe they’ve got off the bus and convince you that you’re the one driving the bus in the only way possible. based on threats like this? If you don’t do what we tell you, we’ll come back and face each other, and you’ll get sick?However, that’s all they can do.
It is a fact that when such passengers occur too negative thoughts and feelings, it seems that they can cause significant harm, and that is why you accept the agreement and do what they ask you, so that they leave you alone and feel at the end of the aisle, where I cannot see them. Trying to maintain control over the passengers, you actually lost your way to the bus!
They do not hold the steering wheel, do not control the throttle or brake, and do not decide where to park. The driver is you. Therefore, there will always be a distant noise, but only we can decide where to look, what to hear and whether that noise will be the protagonist or simply accept it as a complement.
Image courtesy of Francisco Peralta and Tim Brown